Page 19 of Always on My Mind

“I went to see a psychic who helps with. . . ” She touched the photo gently with her index finger before facing Billie again. “She helps you connect with your past lives.”

Billie’s brows went almost up to her hairline. “Youwhat?”

“I couldn’t help myself! After seeing you and Ethan, and then Jordan and Laci too, I had to know if the reason I still have this. . . this hangup on Jamie might be because we’re soulmates!”

“And what did you discover?”

Tessa couldn’t stop the tear that escaped her now. “We are.”

“Oh, Tess.” Billie’s gaze softened, and she rose from her chair to cross the room and embrace her friend. “I’m so sorry.”

Tessa sniffled and buried her face in Billie’s shoulder. “Sorry?”

“I know how hard that must be to learn when you feel as if you can’t be with that person. I’m sorry you’re hurting.”

“She ran away before, too. Twice, she left me out of fear.”

“Jesus.” Billie drew back to look into Tessa’s eyes. “There were two times before?”

“Three, actually.”

“Okay, let’s get to the kitchen and have some of that coffee. I want to know everything.”

Tessa nodded and allowed Billie to lead her into the immaculate Knight kitchen, with all its adorable vintage touches and references to their life before. Billie poured Tessa a cup, then sat beside her on the cushions by the bay window with her own. Tessa took a sip and resisted making a face. Billie never used nearly enough sugar. But she wasn’t about to complain. Not when she was finally getting to have coffee with her best friend again.

She launched into the story, and everything she’d seen at Lila’s. The first lifetime, where they were some of the women chosen to sail to Jamestown to be wives for the men that had settled there. And that first time, they escaped their fates together by leaping to their demise in the sea before they everset foot in Virginia. The second life, nearly two centuries later, they had somehow made it to America, but Jamie was married to a British officer and Tessa was their governess. The family fled with the American Revolution on their doorstep, leaving the household staff behind. And the final time before the present day, during the First World War, where they were both working as nurses in France, and had planned to be together when peace came. Only Jamie (or Dinah as she was called then) backed out again and accepted a marriage proposal from a soldier.

“You see, she’s given into fear every time,” Tessa said. “Even now, when we could be together, she still lets that stand in her way.”

Billie hummed thoughtfully. “But her father is a real obstacle.”

“He isn’t though. It’s not as if she relies on him for money. He’s just up her hole about every fucking thing she ever does. But she could cut him off if she wanted to.”

“Do you think a man like that would let Jamie cut him off?”

Tessa considered it. She remembered the incessant phone calls, the social media monitoring, the constant showing up at training. But mostly she remembered all the times Jamie came over in tears, unable to take it anymore, and Tessa was her place to hide for a while. Even then, eventually Dexter would find her and start the whole thing over again. Billie had witnessed Jamie’s breakdowns more than once. In fact, Billie was there when Dexter had finally figured out where Jamie’s hiding place was. He came bursting into the flat and practically dragged Jamie out, all the while screaming at her. Billie nearly called the police, but Jamie begged her not to.

“I suppose. . . No, he’d surely come looking for her again.” She paused for a beat. “But that doesn’t mean I should accept half a relationship!”

“I’m not saying that,” Billie replied, holding up her hands with innocence. “But was it really so bad? Maybe with some time, Jamie might—”

“No.” Tessa shook her head. “I gave her plenty of time before. Hell, she had three other lifetimes to choose me, and she didn’t.”

“You’re not being fair. Jamie probably has no idea about those. And if she does, it’s vague.”

“Yes, dreams and visions and all that shite. I had them back then. But I ignored them.”

“I can’t say I blame you there. You know better than most how long it took me and Ethan to admit them. Though Jordan and Laci were honest with each other their whole journey.”

“Were they?”

“Yes, they told each other everything. And to think they were in a fake relationship at the time!”

“And how do you know all this?”

Billie shifted on her cushion. “They’ve come over twice this month for dinner.”

Tessa hoisted an eyebrow. “They have?”

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