Page 123 of Light My Fire

“The pregnancy went well. Everything was… perfect.” I have to clear my throat to continue. “Her water broke late one night and it was like the movies. I grabbed the bag, loaded her up, drove her to the hospital. We got to the delivery room and the baby was already on her way.”

“Her?” Brooke says softly.

I nod. “It was a girl. She was born just two hours after her water broke. Came into the world fast and loud. Yelling her head off.” I smile remembering. Jesus, that moment had been incredible. A fucking miracle. “She was eight pounds, totally healthy. Absolutely perfect.”

Brooke now curls her fingers around my hand, obviously sensing the story is about to shift.

“I thought everything was perfect,” I say, my voice a little scratchy now. “I had my wife and daughter. I couldn’t have been happier. And then thirty minutes later, one of the doctors bursts through the door, wild-eyed. He looks atmy wife, then mydaughter, and says, “I want a DNA test.”

Brooke sucks in a little breath, but I keep going. I can’t stop now or I won’t finish.

“They’d been having an affair for almost a year. He claimed he was in love with her. One look at her face when he walked in and I knew she felt the same way. We got the DNA test done immediately and… he was the father.”

Brooke’s hand tightens on mine, but she still doesn’t say anything.

“We didn’t even bring the baby home. They went straight to his house. They hired movers to come get her stuff from our—my—house. We filed for divorce that same week. Because it wasn’t contested and we didn’t fight over any assets, it went fast and easy.”

We sit quietly for almost a minute after I finish.

“How long ago was that?” Brooke asks.

“Almost eleven years.”

“Have you ever seen them since?”

I shake my head. “They’re not mine.”

She starts stroking the back of my hand again.

I look up, and she’s watching me. Just looking at her makes my heart rate decrease and I can take another deep breath. I loosen my grip on the glass.

It’s another thirty seconds before she says, “Is that why you got a vasectomy?”

Okay, so we’re just going to dive intoallof it. I shouldn’t be surprised, I guess. Brooke is a passionate person. When she’s into something, she’s really into it. School. Sex.

Me.

I feel a warmth in my chest at the idea that I’m something important to her.

“Yeah,” I say simply. “I couldn’t go through something like that again. I didn’t want any accidents and…” This next part won’t sound so great out loud, but it’s the truth. “I didn’t want to put my trust in the women I was sleeping with to handle the birth control. So I handled it. For sure.”

She doesn’t look offended or even surprised. She nods. “I see.”

“Do you want to have kids?” I ask. There’s no reason not to lay it all out there. We’re here to figure out if this can be something real between us.

She nods again. “Yes. I’ve always assumed I’d be a mom someday. I wanted to get through school and start my career first.” She laughs softly. “I mean, I wasn’t even doing the things you need to do to get pregnant, so it wasn’t on my immediate horizon, obviously.”

I smile but I do make note that I can’t give her something she wants.

“So,” I start. “This thing with us then…”

She just lifts a brow.

“Obviously there’s an issue there,” I say.

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t give you kids,” I say bluntly.

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