Page 71 of All Your Hate

Her cheeks flush as she enjoys it and other than when she was coming for me that’s the brightest I’ve ever seen her face.

“Good?” I ask and she nods, all pretenses left behind as she savors the food.

“I’ve never had it before. Summer never wanted to try it and I never bought it for myself.” She goes rigid as she realizes what she’s just told me.

“Why did you do it all by yourself?”

I know that she doesn’t have any other family that could have helped after both her parents died, but still to give up your education to take care of a kid is a lot.

She frowns at me like she’s ready to argue, but her shoulders drop and she lets it go, choosing to eat another piece of sushi instead. I watch her face as she mulls over what to say. She piles a plate up and gets as comfortable as she can on the couch with me.

“It was that or lose her. She would have gone into the system and there was no guarantee she’d end up anywhere good or if I’d even be able to see her again. When Mom left us, she was only just learning how to talk. She doesn’t remember anyone but me. I couldn’t have her forget me as well. Have her family replaced with complete strangers.”

I rub my wrist as I think of my own sister. Wynter catches me doing it, but doesn’t say anything about it. Instead, she asks, “Do you have family other than your father?”

I'm surprised by her question since anytime I make small talk with her she makes an effort not to listen. Seems she does care after all.

“Some distant relatives in Sendai.”

“That’s in Japan, right?” She looks at me, surprised, then starts to laugh.

“What’s so funny about that?” I can feel a smile appearing on my face as I watch her relax a little bit in front of me. It’s nice to know that I’ve got her to this point so quickly. It may have been a harsh way to get her here, but I don't regret it. Not when I get to see her smile.

“No, nothing. Just…what are the chances that out of all the food I could have picked, I chose sushi?”

“Maybe we’re meant to be,” I tease her.

“Don’t start with that crap. Just because you bought me the best meal of my life doesn’t mean you’re forgiven for anything.”

She goes back to ignoring me and eating her food. When she sets the plate down there’s so much left on it. She’s still not got her appetite back after being starved. I don’t like the way that makes me feel.

“Do you visit them at all?” she asks, her voice sleepier than it was before.

“Not really. I spent a year there when I turned eighteen. Thought it would make me feel closer to my mom. My dad met her at a business seminar in Tokyo and she moved here with him when they married. They were always working so I never got to meet my mom's side of the family while she was still alive. We barely even saw any of my American relatives and they all passed by the time I was a teenager.”

Wynter keeps her expression blank as she watches the movie, but I see the little crease in the corner of her eye where she’s taking it all in and planning out what to say next.

The fact that she even has to do that makes me angry. I want her to be able to say whatever she wants to me.

Of course, I don’t tell her that like any reasonable man would. Instead, I watch her as she watches the movie. I don’t have a clue what’s happening on the screen, but I love the way her face reacts to it all.

“It would be nice to visit there one day,” Wynter says, her eyes still trained on the screen. “I always dreamed of seeing the world. It’s why I chose languages at college. I was over-eager, stretched myself thin picking too many to study, and ended up barely knowing any by the time I left to take care of—” she cuts herself off abruptly and scowls at the television.

“I’ll take you someday.”

Her shoulders bunch up and she winces again, but she ignores my statement. I could keep pushing her until she knows it’strue, that I’d take her to the ends of the Earth if that’s what she wanted, but I can tell she’s exhausted.

As fun as another fight with her would be, I’m not sure if her body or mind could take it.

I catch her idly tracing the lines on her skin that are starting to fade to pink and she asks, “Did you learn the rope stuff in Japan?”

“Yeah. I wasted a lot of the year being drunk on saké, but I stumbled into a club one day and met someone that taught me all about it.”

“Oh,” is all she says. Is she actually jealous that I said I met someone?

“It wasn’t serious. We didn’t even fuck during our sessions. They actually showed me how to find some inner peace.”

Wynter studies me like I'm some puzzle that needs figuring out. I suppose as long as we keep our secrets guarded that's what we'll be to each other.

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