Page 51 of All Your Hate

It’s been that bad here? I’m disappointed in myself for not doing anything to help, but how was I to know when no one told me anything?

I’m frustrated and pissed off. Usually, I’d go get drunk with someone if I felt like this. Now I have a new urge. For once, I don’t need to go drown my frustrations at the nearest bar. I can head home and work on pulling that rage out of my little viper.

11

WYNTER

Fuck this.

Fuck him.

Fuck my body for betraying me.

Fuck everything.

Bones thinks I’m his, but I refuse to be another man’s object.

That’s what I am here. I’m kept locked away all day, to aimlessly wander around until Bones comes home and decides to fuck me again. Every time my body gives in to him and my mind breaks I hate myself a little bit more. I’m disgusting. All my body is good for nowadays is sex.

I have access to pretty much the whole house when Bones isn’t here, but it doesn’t make the days go by any faster. Time is still an odd concept to me. It’s not as difficult to grasp as when I was in my cell, but each day is blurring into one and I can’t tell how long I’ve been here.

I’m bored out of my mind watching television so I switch it off and decide to head upstairs. A nap should pass the time.

Not paying any attention to my surroundings, I bump right into Bones at the foot of the stairs.

“Oh, you’re home,” I say, taking a step back.

“I was just heading back out. Sorry, little viper, I’ve been neglecting you haven’t I?” His tone is sickeningly sweet as he reaches out to cup my face. I take another step back so he can't touch me.

“I’m not missing you if that’s what you’re getting at. I’m bored stuck in here all day.”

With each step, he follows me until I’m pressed against the wall. “I can make some time for you now. We could go upstairs and I’ll be sure to leave you so satisfied your mind won’t be able to wander enough to be bored.”

My clit throbs at the thought and I hate myself for it. “I’d rather go lie on a bed of rusty nails for the rest of the day.”

I push past him and start heading upstairs.

“Do you want to come with me?”

The question comes out of nowhere, making me freeze. “What?”

“I’ve been paying attention, you’ve not tried to escape me. So today can be a sort of trial run for seeing how well you do outside.”

This asshole. There’s no doubt he’s aware of what going outside would mean to me. Yet he makes me feel like nothing more than an animal that needs to be trained to behave for him. Maybe I am. After all, I'm going to run at the first chance I get. If I’m caught I’m sure I’ll be punished to submit again.

He raises an eyebrow at me, waiting for my answer. “Alright, I’ll come with you,” I say with more hesitation than I’d hoped.

The reality of what I’ve agreed to hits me as he unlocks the door.

I’m goingoutside.

I should feel ecstatic, but all I feel is afraid.

Theycould be out there. Waiting for me to take that first step into the light before they grab me again.

Suddenly this task feels too daunting to accomplish and I find myself wanting to stay inside where it’s safe-ish. The only thing I have to worry about is Bones and with each day that passes, I’m finding him easier to handle.

“I can’t.” My voice is barely audible.

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