Page 53 of Pretend for Me

I laughed, uncomfortably. I wouldn’t go so far as to call Bridget my friend, but over the last few days, she definitely had been a lot nicer to me than she had been initially. I liked the idea of having a friend outside of Audrey, someone to have in mycorner, so I had been making an effort to get to know Bridget, to try to push away doubts about whether she was being genuine. No matter if we were starting to be friendly or not, I didn’t want to hear about her escapades with Holden or whoever the hell she was biting.

“Can I ask you something?” I implored. I didn’t want to poke the bear, but I had to know, my curiosity not allowing me not to ask.

Bridget nodded, motioning for me to continue.

“Why are you being so nice to me? I mean, I’m grateful, don’t get me wrong, but I really don’t understand what changed. I actually thought you hated me, to be honest,” I blurted, deciding it was better to speak candidly.

Bridget stood up from her chair and walked around the desk to sit next to me, laughing as she settled into her seat. I looked at her questioningly, prompting her to answer.

“I never hated you, Cassie.” Bridget paused. “I was scared of you ifI’mbeing honest.”

“Me?” I squeaked out, making a face, not believing what Bridget was saying.

“Yes, you,” she confirmed, adjusting her body in the chair. “You scared me because aside from Audrey, you were the only other person who wasn’t petrified of me. And that scared me. I’ve worked my whole life to get to where I am. I never really relished in the company of others. Not that I didn’t want to. I just didn’t have time. In school, I wasn’t popular. I baked and tested recipes while my friends were partying. My exes were bleak, colorless. They were basically male versions of me. Unable to let loose or separate personal life from professional life. When I met Holden, he turned my whole world upside down.” Bridget stood up, massaging her back with her palm.

She looked at me as I listened intently, and Bridget smiled. “Holden brought me to life. I didn’t think I could love someoneso much and so quickly. But when it hits you, it hits you, you know?”

I had tears in my eyes because I did know. I had found that kind of love once.

“Oh fuck! I’m so sorry. Matthew. You clearly do know.” Bridget grimaced.

I waved her off. “It’s fine. It’s fine.I’mfine.”

Bridget gave me a pointed look. “Bullshit.”

I shook my head, looking around the room, feeling the walls start to close in on me. My hands shook more than usual, anxiety welling up in my chest, my breathing becoming thready. Fuck, I didn’t want to have a panic attack. Not here.

“Can I have some water?” I croaked, attempting to regulate myself.

Bridget walked over to her mini fridge, grabbed a bottle of Evian, opened the cap, and passed it to me.

I gulped and gulped, and Bridget looked at me wide-eyed as I downed the whole bottle in one shot.

“Thanks,” I whispered, warding the panic away.

“Cassie, I’m going to ask you something, and you don’t have to say yes, but I’d really like you to consider it. Would you come to my engagement party?”

I bit down on my lip, contemplating what Bridget had requested. I knew Audrey was going to the party. Bridget had asked her at the bar after my art show. But I wasn’t stupid. I knew full well that Matthew was attending—he was best friends with Holden, so of course he would be there. “Bridget, I don’t?—"

I was about to decline, but Bridget cut me off. “Don’t say no just yet.” She looked down at her watch. “How about I leave a chair open for you just in case?”

I opened my mouth to protest.

“Away from Matthew and next to Audrey and Fatima,” Bridget reassured, waking over to her office door, grabbing the handle to turn it. “Now get back to work.”

I widened my eyes at Bridget’s brashness.

“Don’t think I’m going soft just because we’re friends!” she called after me.

“Areyou sure you don’t want to come? I ironed that pretty jumpsuit I bought for you last year at Macy’s,” Audrey insisted, finishing applying her lipstick in the bathroom mirror before walking out to the living room.

I stood by the doorway to the apartment, Audrey’s shawl draped over my arm, ready to send her off.

It wasn’t that I hadn’t considered going to Bridget and Holden’s engagement party—I had—but it was not my time to change my story. I had the chance, and I’d fucked it up.

“Have a good time. Give the lovebirds my best.” I wrapped Audrey in the shawl, gave her a tight squeeze, and opened the front door. After a quick goodbye, I closed the apartment door and headed to the kitchen to grab some of the chips I usually had to hide from Audrey.

The night droned on,and I sat on the couch channel surfing, shifting ever so often since I couldn’t seem to get comfortable. Every time I thought I could relax, I felt a knot in my stomach. It was like my body knew I wasn’t meant to be sitting in the apartment right now. No, I was supposed to be at the restaurant.

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