Page 38 of Trash the Dress

When I’m standing over his bed, I pull the covers down and drop my towel. The cold air hits my already pebbled, sensitive nipples and my core pulses. I start to crawl to the center of his bed and lie down. But I simply lie there. I can’t do this…it just feels plain wrong no matter how desperate I am to find my release.

The tears come without permission, and I let them drip down my face and onto his pillows. I bury my face in my hands andsilently chastise myself for this stupid, borderline creepy idea. But once I’m all cried out, I feel a little better.

I swipe the remaining wetness from my cheeks and start to sit up so I can go back to my room and get dressed like a sensible person before Zander gets home, but I freeze when I see him standing in the doorway with his dark gaze roaming every inch of my naked body as if seeing me this way for the first time.

When our gazes eventually lock, he swallows…hard. I don’t know what to do, so I scramble for my towel, because who am I right now? I’m a crazy person who has tarnished his space. Once I have it haphazardly covering my body, I say with a trembling voice, “I’m so sorry, Zander. This is so weird. I just thought…you know what? It doesn’t matter. I should go before I make this worse. Just…wow, I’m sorry.”

I start to move in his direction to walk out the door he’s now filling, and he gives me chills when he says, “Stop.”

His expression reveals nothing, but his pupils are so big, his dark eyes look almost black, especially in the dim light cast by his lamp on his nightstand.

“Why are you crying, Scarlett?” he asks as he takes a step further into his room, making me back up.

In for a penny, in for a pound…or whatever that saying is. I bite on my lower lip to distract myself from the growing bulge behind his jeans.

“Scarlett,” he rasps almost painfully.

I close my eyes and decide to just be my awkward but truthful self. “You know how the doctor said I might start to feel…aroused a lot?”

His jaw clenches as he nods.

“It’s true. I’ve never been so turned on, but I can’t…” I trail off.

“You can’t what?” he asks.

“I need to get off, okay? I can’t. I’m not one to touch myself, but I’ve tried with no success,” I admit to this handsome man standing before me, the one who’s already touched almost every inch of me.

He steps closer and narrows his eyes. “How have you been taking care of it? Has someone else been touching you?” he asks.

I realize he’s asking if I’ve been sleeping with someone else while carrying his baby. I may be desperate for release, but not that desperate. My brows rise in disbelief. How could he think I’d do that? This is proof of how broken his ability to trust is. That also destroys any slim chance we had in the back of my mind of being anything more than what we are now. Without trust, there’s no way to have a relationship.

More tears slide down my cheeks, more out of anger I think than anything, and I catch them with my tongue as they fall past my lips. I don’t glance away when I speak. “No one has touched me. I haven’t had any kind of release since the day I basically dry humped you in your kitchen. I can’t believe you’d think that low of me.”

I start to move past him again but he steps in front of me. “I’m pretty messed up when it comes to relationships, Scarlett. It would never be my first choice to think that, but my past has me gridlocked.”

“Yeah, well, someone hurt me too. I know yours was a unique pain because it was two people you loved that betrayed you, but you don’t get to assume I’d do that. We’re not together, but I’d still never do that. That’s a special kind of messed up in my book to be pregnant with one man’s child but sleep with another,” I rush out, chest heaving with emotion.

He steps so close I feel the heat coming from his body. His heated gaze rakes over me. “Can I touch you? Will you let me take care of you?”

My eyes widen in surprise. I wasn’t expecting that. “I’m not letting you do that because you feel sorry for me.”

“I don’t. I’ve wanted to be the one to touch you since the moment I saw you again. But I didn’t think I had a right to, and I didn’t want to confuse you by sending mixed signals. I’m drawn to you, sunshine. But I don’t know if I can give you more than my body. Can that be enough for now?” he asks, swallowing hard once more.

On impulse, or from insanity, I’m not sure which, I drop my towel as his chest puffs up a bit. “No one else has more of a right to touch me than you do.”

He lets out a groan before pulling my naked body flush with his still fully clothed one. “Tonight, I’ll make sure you’re fully taken care of and then some. I will for as long as you’ll let me, sunshine.”

I know this is the best he can give, and right now, even knowing my heart will probably get broken later, I accept it and decide to deal with the consequences later.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Zander

The moment I walked in on Scarlett lying naked on my bed I knew any fight I’d been putting up against wanting to touch her and be with her at least physically, was lost. But then when I realized she was crying, I knew I’d walk through the fires of hell for this woman. I’ve never felt so possessive or protective. Especially when she told me what was wrong.

Now, she’s given me the green light to love her, with my body at least, and I’m ravenous for her. I want to savor every inch of her skin and hear every gasp and moan I can pull from her perfect pink lips.

To be honest, I’m like a kid on Christmas morning and I don’t know which present to unwrap first. Her full breasts draw my attention initially, but first, I reach down and drag a finger through her center and let out a tortured moan of my own when I realize just how badly she wants me.

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