Page 39 of Trash the Dress

Seeing her rounded abdomen, knowing it’smychild growing there elicits an emotion I’m not sure how to describe other than being proud the baby is mine and acknowledging, at least tomyself, I want her to stay. I want her to be mine always. I don’t remember ever feeling more alive than now as I see the evidence of what we created together, even if we didn’t mean to.

But the baby has got me thinking and starting to believe everything that has happened was meant to. Maybe, just maybe, the pain we’ve both been through was all to lead us here…together and raising this child.

I guide her to the bed until her legs touch it. I begin unbuttoning my shirt and then shrug it off my shoulders. Her gaze drops and her fingers reach to undo my jeans before mine can. I toe my boots off, followed by pulling my jeans and boxers down.

“Do you want this?” I ask, just to be sure.

She closes her eyes and licks her lips while nodding. “Use your words, sunshine.”

“Yes, I want you,” she answers breathlessly, this time her blue gaze holds mine.

I lean in and kiss her lips while my hands trail down her back until they’ve settled under her heart-shaped cheeks. Then, I gently lift her up, and her legs spread and wrap around me instantaneously.

Her luscious breasts are in perfect position for my mouth to tease her sensitive nipples. She drags sharp nails through my hair as I walk her to the wall. We’ll end up on the bed, but I want her like this a little longer.

Once we reach the wall, and her back is pressed against it, I’m careful not to put too much pressure on her abdomen. I kiss her swollen lips as she grinds against me. “Do you trust me?” I ask.

“With my body? Absolutely,” she answers.

“I want to see you fall apart against this wall. Hold on to me,” I tell her.

“I’m too heavy for you to keep me this way long,” she says, shyly.

I kiss her again. “You are flawless, sunshine. Everything about you fits everything about me better than I could have ever imagined.”

She stares at me for a moment, searching for any hint of deception, and then nods. She wraps her arms around my neck as I lean in to kiss hers. My tongue trails her delicate skin as I shift my hand from her round cheek to her wet center. She squeezes against me tighter as I tell her, “I got you, sunshine. Trust me.”

I start working her center with my hand and it’s not long before she throws her head back against the wall and falls apart in my arms in the best way possible. Once she comes down from her high, she kisses my lips again and leans her forehead against mine. “Thank you,” she whispers against my lips. “You have no idea how badly I needed that…or how bad I needed you.”

I turn her from the wall and take her back to my bed. I set her down on it and stare down at this gorgeous woman. “You shouldn’t be thanking me, sunshine. I’m being selfish. I can’t make myself stay away from you.”

Her eyes widen before she glances at my length. She backs up to the middle of my bed. “Will you make love to me, Zander? Can you?”

I can’t bring myself to answer her aloud, but in the depths of my melting heart, I know the answer is yes. I’m making love to this woman. I’m falling for her even though I don’t want to. It’s a fact I’ll have to keep hidden.

“Do you want protection?” I ask.

She chews her bottom lip. “I don’t. The baby already exists. I don’t think I can get more pregnant,” she says, as a cute giggle slips from her perfect lips and her hand rests on her swollen abdomen. “I’m clean. Are you still too?” she asks.

“I am. I’ve not laid a finger on anyone since you,” I admit.Haven’t even thought of anyone else, my mind reminds me. Information I keep to myself.

“Come here, then,” she says as she crooks her finger at me.

I crawl up the bed and settle between her legs, being sure not to lean on her. “Are you ready for me?”

She starts to answer but moans instead when I slide my length against her center. I kiss her lips and stay up on my elbows as I enter her slowly, inch by inch. Her legs part further as she accepts all of me.

Once we’re settled, she starts to wiggle beneath me, and I give her what she wants. I watch her as she nears falling apart again. “Keep your eyes open and on me, sunshine. Don’t disappear on me,” I tell her as I wait for her to fall off the edge.

She opens her eyes and stares into mine. I feel her flutter around me as she comes undone. I slow down, but move more purposefully, hitting just the right spot. And we finally fall over the edge together.

Once our breathing slows, I help her to the bathroom to clean her up, and then we lie down together. We hold on to each other without saying a word. I don’t know if she feels it too, but I know I’ll never be the same. I’ll always need her and her sunshine to light up my darkest days, if she’ll stay. But can I ask her to do that? Attempting to love me won’t be easy.

Instead of communicating how I feel, I ask if she’s hungry, and of course she says she’s starving, so we find her something to eat before crawling back onto my bed where I keep my word and make sure she’s fully taken care of until she finally drifts off to sleep in my arms.

When I wake up,the birds are chirping, and I feel lighter than I have in a long time. I can still feel her skin beneath my fingertips, hear her moans echo in my mind, and see the depths of her hooded blue eyes filled with both desire and satisfaction.

But then I open my eyes, and I know in my gut I’m alone. I still reach for her and touch nothing but a cold bed. When I sit up, I replay the night in my head. Did I say something or do something wrong?

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