Page 67 of Trash the Dress

After what seems like an eternity, but in reality, it was probably more like twenty minutes, a baby cries. Our son is here. Dr. Ray holds him up so we can see him. Happy tears fall down Scarlett’s temples where she lies on the table.

I press a kiss to her forehead and whisper, “You did so good, sunshine. I love you.”

She closes her eyes and nods while pressing her lips together. The nurses tell me I can take pictures of him and help clean him up as Dr. Ray finishes Scarlett’s surgery. Everything passes by in a blur and we’re finally in a room.

“My parents will be here in the morning since it’s so late. Yours too. Tonight, it’s just the three of us,” I tell her as she holds our son against her chest getting some skin-to-skin time.

“Okay,” she says without looking up.

“I never knew I could love someone so much. My heart almost hurts with how much I love him,” she says.

I stroke her hair while watching them together and wonder to myself how I got so lucky. “I know. I feel it too.”

She glances at me and smiles softly. “Thank you for being my safe place to land in there.”

“Always, sunshine. Thank you for giving me our son. He’s the most precious gift I could have ever imagined.”

Her eyes almost gloss over. “What about Atlas?” she asks around a sniffle.

“Hmm. Atlas Bailey. I like it. What about a middle name?”

“I picked Atlas. What do you think it should be?” she asks.

“I like Cole. Atlas Cole,” I say, testing it out.

She stares at him for a few seconds before placing a kiss to his dark hair. “Atlas Cole Bailey, you are so loved. Welcome to the world, my little one.”

He yawns and makes the smallest, sweetest noise I’ve ever heard before his mama hands him to me. I sway as I hold him in my arms. I was afraid I’d fumble this part, but it surprisingly has come naturally to me.

Staring at his perfect little face fills me with an emotion I’m not sure how to describe, but pride and joy come to mind. I know I’ll always choose him and Scarlett over anyone or anything. I’m more than ready to prove that every day. This is my family.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

Scarlett

“How has it been two weeks?” I ask out loud as I watch Zander walk into the living room holding Atlas.

“I don’t know. I’ve always heard people say time flies when you have kids, but I had no clue how true that was until Atlas,” Zander says.

He lays him down in the bassinet we’ve been keeping in here. We have one in the living room and one in the bedroom. “He’s changed and sleeping. How are you feeling? Can I do anything for you?” he asks quietly.

“I’m sore, but that’s to be expected. The more I walk around, the easier it gets.”

“I’d like to take some newborn pictures of him. Do you have any ideas?” he asks.

“Oh, um. No. I think I’ll leave the picture taking to you. You’re the creative one,” I answer.

“Maybe so. But you and Atlas are my muses. I was afraid I’d lost my talent and passion for creating until you made metry again. Besides, those more intimate photos are the ones you suggested, and they turned out great,” he tells me.

I shrink a little inside as I remember how those pictures and that night were tarnished by Vivian. I haven’t told Zander about it. Leah told me I should while she drove me to the hospital, but we were preoccupied with Atlas being born. I wouldn’t let her tarnish those memories too.

But other than communicating about Atlas’s needs and my own as I heal, we haven’t discussed “us.” Any time he tries to kiss me, I turn my head involuntarily making his lips graze my cheek instead.

I know I need to give myself grace because I just grew a tiny human and had to deliver via C-section, but Vivian’s taunting from that night essentially made me self-conscious and filled me with doubts I never had before. Add in postpartum emotions and I’m all over the place.

I had very light stretch marks before on the inside of my thighs and the outside of my hips, but now my stomach is covered in them. They’re much more prominent than any I’ve ever had. My soft curves are larger. I’ve never been a vain person, and I’m still not. But I wonder if Zander will still find me attractive.

He’s seen more than his fair share the past couple weeks. He’s helped me use the bathroom and shower. And he’s not complained or hesitated once. But I feel like we’re in survival mode due to lack of sleep and adjusting to this new life as parents. Once the new wears off and reality sets in, will he still mean all the pretty words and promises he said to me?

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