Page 22 of No Ordinary Love

I didn't tell Jax what happened by the restrooms, but he guessed and didn't probe. I had talked to Gemma about it, and she was ready to knee Lucas in the nuts.

"Men are douchebags. They only want what they can't have."

Ain't that the truth?Amen!

I felt like every time I thought I'd healed, Lucas would appear from left field. I felt his presence before I even saw him—like a shift in the air, a pull I couldn't ignore.

I still remembered how good it felt to be held by him again when he'd cornered me, his eyes dark and intense, full of everything I'd been trying to forget. Before I could process what was happening, he was leaning in, his breath warm against my skin.

Iwantedto kiss him. I wantedhimto kissme.

My heart had lurched in my chest, confusion and anger warring with the part of me that still ached for him, that still remembered what it felt like to be his. But the moment passed as quickly as it came. I pulled away, the hurt slicing through me sharper than before. Jax and Kath were right out in the bar, oblivious to the turmoil happening just feet away.

How dare he?

Lucas had made his choice, and who he wanted in his life wasn't me. I had to remind myself of that as I had pushed him away and forced myself to walk back to the table, pretending like I wasn't seconds away from crumbling.

That night had sent me spiraling, undoing weeks of progress. I'd fallen into despair again, questioning everything—how I'd let Lucas get so close, how I still let him affect me. But the new house had been my salvation. It was a place to pour all of that pain, all of that longing, into something tangible, something that wasn't Lucas Fucking Covington.

As I stood in my little garden now, the late afternoon sun casting a warm glow over the freshly planted roses, I felt a sense of accomplishment, of quiet pride. This was my space. I'd built my beautiful sanctuary out of the rubble of what Lucas and I once were.

But even as I admired what I'd already achieved in the garden, I couldn't stop thinking about Lucas—about the kiss that never was, the moment that almost happened. It was infuriating how much power he still had over me, how he could shatter my peace with just a look, a touch, a near kiss.

I wiped my hands on my jeans, determined not to let those thoughts take root. This was my life now, and Lucas wasn't in it. I'd built my lifeagainfrom the ground up, just like this garden. And no matter how many times Lucas tried to pull me back, I wouldn't let him ruin my hard-won calm.

I was moving forward, one step at a time, and I wasn't about to let him drag me back into the past. Not when I was finally starting to believe that I could be okay again.

My garden and my house weren't only a fresh start; they were a promise to myself, a recognition that I deserved better.

I wiped the dirt from my hands, standing back to admire the small herb garden I'd just finished planting. It wasn't much yet—just a few neat rows of basil, rosemary, and thyme—but it was a start. The house had become my little project, an outlet for my energy whenever memories of Lucas crept in, threatening to overwhelm me. It was mostly working. But there were still moments when I felt it all slamming down on me like a heavy fog.

I pulled out my phone, snapped a picture of the garden, and sent it to Basil.

My phone rang almost immediately. "Holy fuck, you've done some work out there, Sunshine."

I grinned. "It's looking really good, isn't it?"

"Show me more," he demanded. I hit the video call button and waited for him to accept, the screen filling with his grinning face as he appeared.

"Amara, that's impressive," Basil exclaimed as I angled the camera to give him a better view of my handiwork. "I didn't even know you gardened."

I laughed, feeling some of the day's tension melt away. "I didn't know either. But I'm spending an inordinate amount of time on YouTube learning the intricacies of planting bulbs in early Fall. It's been nice to have something besides work to focus on, you know?"

He nodded, his expression softening as he looked at me through the screen. "How are youreallydoing, Sunshine? Gemma told me about Lucas making a pass at you."

Making a passmade it sound tawdry, which it was.

I sighed, moving to sit on the small bench by the magnolia tree. "Honestly? It's been hard. Some days are better than others. That day when Lucas…you know…and days after were not good. This house has helped. It's nice to have a place that's all mine, without any memories of Lucas lurking in the corners."

"You deserve a fresh start, somewhere that's just for you. And this place looks perfect. But you know, Sunshine, you can't hide in your garden forever."

Basil just knew how to push my buttons. "I'm not hiding," I heatedly protested, though we both knew it was true. "I'm just…taking my time."

"Taking your time is one thing, but you also need to start living again. What about Jax? He seems like a good guy. Have you thought about giving things a real shot with him?"

I hesitated, biting my lip as I considered his question. "Jax is great. He's fun and easy to be around. I tried, but there's no chemistry for anything more than friendship. I don't want to lead him on or hurt him."

Basil's eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "I get that, Sunshine. But maybe you're overthinking it. It's okay to explore what's there, even if it's not fireworks right from the start. And as long as you're honest with him about where you stand, I don't think there's anything wrong with seeing where it goes."

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