Page 33 of Rating the Book Boyfriend

Sonya rolls her eyes. “I asked him, and he said he wanted his three favorite ladies to meet.”

I scrunch my nose. “Well, that just took a left turn into creepy town.”

“Afterward, Nathan took his daughter, waved her hand at me, and said, ‘Say bye-bye to Mommy.’ I almost broke my ankles getting out of there.”

Erica and I crack up laughing. “Did he at least pay for dinner?” I ask, and Sonya levels me with a flat glare.

“His mother paid.”

Erica calms her laughter and holds up one hand. “I might be able to top that one. You remember that guy I had a one-night stand with a couple months ago?”

“Tyson?” Sonya asks. “The one with the big…”

“That’s the one,” Erica confirms. “Best sex of my life, so I was excited when he called me last week. This time we actually went out on a real date, and everything was going great. Good conversation and everything. He’s really smart, some kind of engineer.”

“Uh-oh,” I say. “Sounds too good to be true. Did you sleep together again?”

“We did, and it was just as good the second time around. I’m talkingmultipleorgasms. The man can find my G-spot like he printed out the location on Mapquest.”

“Is Mapquest still a thing?” Sonya interrupts. “I thought everyone used GPS now.”

Erica waves her hand. “Whatever. You know what I mean. So afterward, we’re laying in bed, and he turns the lamp on and tells me he wants to show me something.”

“Oh shit, did he have a dick boil or something?” Sonya blurts, her brown eyes wide.

I laugh. “What the hell is a dick boil?”

“I have no idea. My cousin’s boyfriend told her he couldn’t have sex with her for about a month because he had a dick boil.”

My nose scrunches. “She needs to get checked. He’s probably got herpes.” I turn back to Erica. “So what did Tyson have to show you?”

She lowers her voice. “He got my name tattooed on his dick.”

I blink rapidly, my mouth falling open. “That’s insane. Did you run for the hills?”

Erica averts her eyes and scratches the back of her neck as her words all come out in a rush. “No, I, uh, sucked his big Erica dick and then we fucked again. Three times.”

“Good lord. Only you,” Sonya moans. “And then you ran?”

“Not exactly.” Erica gnaws on her bottom lip. “I told him I’d see him again.”

“What? He literally got your name tatted on his penis after a one-night stand. He’s probably a crazy stalker dude.”

“I knowww, but the sex!” she whines. “It’s, like, crazy good. Plus, him getting the tattoo shows he’s not one of those guys with commitment issues.”

Sonya and I almost fall out of our chairs laughing as Erica rolls her eyes and takes a sip of wine. “At least if he kidnaps me, I won’t be horny.”

“You are so ridiculous. If you end up dead in a ditch, I’m puttingBut at least she wasn’t hornyon your headstone,” Sonya informs her before turning to me. “What about you, Lib? You dating anyone since the loser?”

“Nope, and absolutely no prospects.”

“What about that book-boyfriend business you’re doing? Maybe you can train up a man just like you want him.”

“It’s not a dating service,” I argue. “And the man I’m working with now is taken. His girlfriend signed him up for the service.”

“Must be a real loser if his girlfriend signed him up.”

“He is not,” I say defensively, feeling my cheeks heat. “He’s a really great guy.”

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