Page 32 of Rating the Book Boyfriend

The next Wednesday afternoon, I sit on a towel on the beach that’s within walking distance of my little cottage. My computer is open on my lap, but the page is blank except for the chapter number at the top. I can’t quite wrap my head around what I want to write next.

I just wrote an emotional scene, and the male character is now hanging out with his friends, so maybe it’s time for something funny. A vague idea hits me, and I shoot off a text to my BBB friends and wait for an answer.

Libby: I have a male character that’s going to tell an off-color cum joke, but I’m struggling. Give me ideas.

It doesn’t take long before I receive a barrage of replies.

Gemma: A man asks his wife if he can come in her ear, but she says no because she’s afraid it will make her go deaf. He replies, “Funny, I always come in your mouth, and you never shut the fuck up.”

JoJo: They say pineapple juice makes your jizz taste better. But for me, it just ruins the pineapple juice.

Ava: From now on, I’m calling my cum “children alfredo.”

I’m laughing uncontrollably when I reply.

Libby: These are all awesome, but children alfredo for the win. I knew I could count on you bitches. Thanks!

I quickly type the joke into my document, and the words flow like a raging river after that. The male character has a hilarious group of friends, and I’m loving their banter.

My phone rings, and I pick it up and see that my friend, Sonya, is calling. She’s an office manager for an optometrist in Port Saint Joe, and we instantly hit it off when she hired me to design a new website for the office. She’s one of the reasons I chose to move to this particular town.

“Hey, lady,” I answer, setting my computer aside and reclining back on my towel.

“Hi, Libby. What are you up to today?”

“Being a beach bum,” I reply happily. “Well, I guess I’m working too because I’m writing on the beach.”

“Do you have plans for tonight?”

“Nope, whatcha got?”

“Drinks at that little pub downtown at seven. Erica is coming too.”

Erica is the optician at the office, and she has the most impressive collection of glasses I’ve ever seen.

“Sounds good. See you there.”

“I’ve got so much to tell you.”

I smile as I hang up. Those two are always good for some book fodder, competing to see whose crazy dating stories will end up in one of my books.

“I seriously don’t know what’s wrong with men today. They all seem to have mommy issues,” Sonya says, her black curls bouncing with every shake of her head. Sonya is gorgeous, with dark skin, a huge smile, and curves I would die for.

“You went out with that Nathan guy that’s been asking you out for a month?” I ask, and she nods.

“Yes. Firstand lastdate.”

“What happened?” Erica asks, leaning forward on her forearms. She’s a pretty brunette with soulful brown eyes framed by purple glittery glasses.

“This fool,” Sonya starts, taking a sip of her Manhattan. “He shows up to the restaurant with his three-year-old daughterand his mother.”

“No fucking way,” I breathe. “On a first date?”

“Yes, ma’am. And it was not a kid-friendly restaurant. The little girl screamed through the appetizer course, and neither of them did a thing about it. Everyone in the restaurant looked like they wanted to stab us. I finally pulled the kid out of her highchair and held her in my lap until she calmed down.”

“Poor baby. It’s not her fault her dad is an idiot,” Erica says, her lips turning down.

“Why did he bring them with him instead of leaving his mom at home to babysit?”

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