Page 8 of Caged in Flames

Jude appears heartbroken at my demands. Interesting. I pinch the top of my nose and move on. “You have no power here anymore. I will do everything I can to make sure you are nothing, anywhere. What you have done will follow you wherever the fuck you go, if it’s the last thing I do.”

I am able to give my speech without interruption and even though I want to pee myself with the anxiety racing through me, I hold strong.

“Blue, please give us...just give me a minute to talk.” Is he serious?

I turn a scathing look on Jude, “Fuck you. I am not your Blue. I am not your Princess. I never was. Move the fuck on because I have.”

I’m not here for their entertainment. I’m here for me. I have to make this clear right now. There will be no repeating the past.

Turning my attention to Charlie, I make my next demand. “Tell my father that he fucking owes me for not giving me a warning. Tell him to do whatever form of apology he knows as far as his dead-beat father skills go, because this was the one time that waste of sperm could have picked up the phone instead of the credit card.”

“Diana-” I hate that name. I don't want to be Diana ever again. Not for anyone.

“Stop. Calling. Me. That." I hiss out every word. "My name is Phoenix Carter. I do not know Diana anymore. She was weak. She fell for lies and pretty boys.” I look to Jude for this next part. “She let her body be taken advantage of. Diana was no one, and you three did that to her.”

Sure, I’m being a little over the top. But I've earned this moment. This time I’ll make the rules. “As far as you’re concerned, she did fucking die in that bathtub. She no longer exists.” I've gone too far, but it's every bit of the truth.

To my surprise, all three have shame on their faces. Jude has real tears in his eyes. My sweet--no, he was never my anything. Jude is a sensitive soul with a big heart. At least he made me believe that at one point. All for their game. “Di-”

This time I raise my teeth in a snarl. I might look more like a chihuahua than a pit-bull, but whatever.

Jude corrects himself. “Phoenix, I am so-”

I wave my hand. “Don’t you dare say you are sorry. I’m done here. I’ve laid out the ground rules. If you fuck with me at all, I will pay you back tenfold.”

Charlie squares his shoulders. Any remorse I thought I found before is gone. Sick bastard would hear a challenge and immediately accept it.

I might be a victim to them. But I’m also a survivor. I might be a damsel in distress, but I can be my own hero now. The best damsels are damaged just enough to know the only way out is to save themselves.

That’s what happens in my books. I’m not a character in a fictional world, but I’m channeling all my favorite badass female leads.

I nod once before turning on my heel and walking back to my dorm with Gunner trailing behind me. Once we get back to my room, he comes in with me. I stare at him until he pulls me in for a hug.

“G, I’ve never wanted to be a girl to throw down a friendship ultimatum. I fucking hate when people use them against those they’re supposed to care about. But I cannot be around them, and I can never trust someone who could trust them.” I mean it. It will suck doing another year here without someone by my side, but I won't let myself be trapped into questioning every relationship I have.

“Nix, I get it. I know who you are. I truly had no idea they were the ones who put you through all that shit. I never would have guessed. Maybe they spent time away and changed, or maybe they just wear a lot of different masks." He runs his hand down his face and for a minute I stare at the small shadow that graces his jaw line.

I snap myself out of it as he continues. "I can’t offer you an explanation for it. I spent some time with them this summer, and some stuff may have happened, but even if you wouldn’t have asked, I’d still pick your side.”

I didn’t know how much I needed someone on my side until he said the words. I don’t want to be alone this year. I squeeze my arms around him and we stand there for a few minutes before we hear a knock at my door.

Gunner’s brow is furrowed and I return his look of confusion. He walks over and opens the door to Jane.

“Uh, hey y’all. Here’s the thing." She's bouncing in her spot in the doorway. "I get good vibes from you two, and I am going to throw all my cards on the table.” Her arms move wildly in front of her as she talks.

“Jude is my cousin. I don’t know much about what went down, except what I was able to overhear when my mom thought she was whispering to my dad at the dinner table. She hasn’t realized that I’m not still a five-year-old and that the bottle of wine she has for dinner actually makes her sound like a banshee or something.” Jane talks so fast that I wonder if she’s been snorting espresso beans all day.

Seeming to notice she’s off topic, she lifts one shoulder in a shrug before taking a deep breath so she can start again. “Anyway, it’s not my place to defend him and I’m not going to. I want to be friends. I spent all last year hearing the rumors, and I do not give a shit about anything I heard. All I could think was that you would have to be an incredible person to survive what you have. So, what do you say?” It takes me at least thirty seconds to process everything she's just said at a super speed.

I look back at Gunner. Suddenly the idea of having friends sounds better than ever. I know Dr. Grace would agree. I playfully roll my eyes and make a come in gesture. She skips into the room bringing in a bit of lightness with her.

“Hi, Jane. I’ve spent the last year going through what I like to call a rebirth. My name is Phoenix. My head is a fucked-up place to live. It’s always been dark, but after what the torture trio did, I…well, we know what I did." I can spend my entire life drowning in regret, but eventually I hope it just becomes something that just happened to me that I recovered from.

"That is probably the only fact that anyone who has heard the story can say is completely true. I go to therapy, and it is awesome.” Being real with her serves two purposes. Transparency, yes. But also, the chance to freak her out a bit. Instead, she looks like a puppy waiting for me to toss a bone. Eager.

“Gunner and I met there, but he was a volunteer and I was a patient. I don’t give my time to people who will waste it anymore. I will not let anyone in my life who will advocate for the fucking devils living in this school, but I’m not fucked up enough to want you to break off contact with your family. Just don’t tell me shit about Jude and the guys, and we will be fine.”

She nods a few times before jumping over and giving me a hug. “Perfect! Let’s all get lunch together, shall we?”

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