Page 6 of Caged in Flames

Chapter Three

After Gunner left last night, and we made our plans to meet up for breakfast this morning, I passed out. The emotions of returning here and all the work of moving into the dorm took more out of me than I expected.

My body is still heavy with tiredness, but I push through. Dragging myself out the nest of my blankets, I roll out of bed.

Walking into the bathroom, I turn the shower on hot. Nothing like the scalding waters of hell to really wake you up in the morning. Going through the motions, I end up in front of the mirror debating on what kind of look I want to wear today.

What can I wear to give people the impression that they should fuck off? Or at least something to fake that I’m not over my trauma but I can fake it until I make it?

I decide to channel Taylor Swift circa Red era. An album that introduces the art of a musical genre transition, of heartbreak and healing. I've moved into a new phase in my life, and no one does that better than the lyrical genius that is Tay Tay. I even add the winged eyeliner and red lips.

Throwing on a simple t-shirt dress and a pair of Keds, I tie a denim jacket around my waist. Running my fingers through the hair resting on my forehead, I give myself one last glance and head out of my room.

Walking out the door, I almost run right into Gunner. He catches me with his hand on my shoulders, steading me. “Sorry, I thought we could walk over to the dining hall together. Then we can both endure whatever awful robot speech that old guy with a terrible bowtie gives just to say welcome back.”

I grin at him. “That actually sounds perfect. While I am trying to not be nervous, the dining hall is pretty intimidating.” During one-point sophomore year, Charlie and crew banned me from entering the area. I ate ramen noodles in my dorm for a week. Of course, I'd have nerves about trying to go back.

“Well, you look beautiful today, Nixy.” He pushes a piece of hair behind my ear and leans down to kiss my cheek. “If anyone dares to give you any shit, please tell me. I know you can do this, but you don’t have to do shit alone.”

His words send warmth through me.

“I really appreciate that. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me that you’re here, Gun.” I reach out to squeeze his arm and we make our way over to the main building. Part of me expects to be run out of the dining hall, but like I thought, no one seems to recognize me.

Gunner and I grab our trays and make our way through the line with ease. Taking a seat at a random empty table, I let my eyes roam around the room. We get a little attention, but nothing that seems like more than general curiosity.

Well, I saw more than one pair of female eyes checking out Gunner, but nothing scandalous.

We finish off our food pretty quickly, and after we discard our trash and trays, I lead us to the auditorium. Using the pointer and thumb fingers of my left hand, I twist and pull at the hair tie on my right wrist. I'm glad I remembered to wear one today, if only for the sake of having something small to fidget with.

Gunner's hand hovers behind my back, without actually touching me. My sweet friend must sense my nerves as we take our seats. He places a gentle hand on my knee and raises his brow slightly in question.

I lean over and whisper into his ear. “This room holds no good memories, that’s all.”

He squeezes my hand before settling down into the theatre style chair. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see a dot of red walking towards us. Pretending I don't notice her, I watch her take a moment to look us both over before she sits down. Right beside me.

Studying the rest of the room, I see that while the auditorium is starting to fill up, there are plenty of open seats. I'm curious as to why this girl chose the seat next to me. I've got my resting bitch face firmly in place. Looking at Gunner, I raise my brow, tilting my head to the stranger. He shrugs but doesn't remove his hand from my knee.

When I look over to the person beside me, I don't recognize her at all. She's wearing a pair of glitter Converse that makes my eyes hurt. Taking in the rest of her appearance, I notice her jeans are overly distressed. Her cheetah print shirt is surprisingly stylish and not like something a 40-year-old woman named Carol would find at the clearance rack. She has her strawberry blonde hair fishtail braided and looks more out of place than I feel.

Once again, she eyes us like she's debating on starting a conversation.

Hmm. Is she interested in G? Great. I'm so not ready to watch the prissy pussy patrol follow him through the halls this year. Before I get too far into my thoughts, the eccentric girl beside me clears her throat.

"I don't recognize either of you," she drawls slowly as her eyes flicker back and forth between the two of us. I can feel her cataloguing our features and postures. She nods to herself as if she's finally coming to a conclusion about something. "I'm guessing not siblings?"

Gunner huffs out a “Fuck no,” in response that makes me smile.

She nods, confident that she was right all along. “Cool. This is my second year at Blisshaven. My parents moved us here last year to be closer to my dad's family.” Shrugging, she looks glances around the room with disinterest. “It's been pretty boring. Since you're both new, I thought I'd introduce myself seeing as neither of you look like Stepford children like the rest of these clones. I’m Jane, by the way.”

She offers us her hand to shake.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Phoenix. This broody dude here is Gunner.”

We chat about little to nothing for a few more minutes before Headmaster Hargrove begins his welcome back to the bullshit speech.

I start to feel my skin chill, like the room is getting colder, but it's as if I am the only person to notice. Shifting my weight from one side to the other in my chair, I look around the room slowly. It could just be a little bit of paranoia, but it feels like so much more. Even though I’ve been working on moments of panic in therapy, I also know that sometimes my instincts are on point.

When jade green eyes meet mine, I can't control the gasp that leaves my mouth. The panic I feel in my chest brings me back to the last time I was stuck in this room. With those same evil eyes.

“Nix. Phoenix. What the fuck is happening?” Gunner grabs my hand, and I start a grounding technique.

“They’re here. They were supposed to be gone. Why are they here?” These words are spoken lower than a whisper. As if saying them to myself first can possibly prepare me for what’s to come.

Closing my eyes, I try to focus on my breathing. I sit up straight and place my hand on either side of my legs, feeling the material on the chair. Pushing my feet into the ground, I imagine my nervous energy to be the same green that entices my panic, and I slowly release it from my mind.

Once the lights begin to dim, I stand fast enough to have the blood rushing to my head. I turn and head down the row of chairs and out the auditorium doors with Jane and Gunner right on my heels.

“What the actual fuck is going on, Nix?” Gunner sounds as frantic as I feel, and Jane watches me with wide eyes.

Looking at them both, I draw in a deep breath. This time I speak loud enough for them to hear me. “They’re here.”

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