Page 5 of Caged in Flames

"I think we are good on pens, but if I think I'm running low I will let you know." I smile at her as I finish hanging up the last of my clothes. I didn't bring much with me. Blisshaven furnishes the dorms and the textbooks are provided for each course throughout the first week of classes.

I double check that everything has found its place and walk around the apartment style dorm. I wander around until I find myself entering the ensuite, taking a look at my reflection. Ever since the day I attempted to slit my wrists, I’ve found confronting the girl in the mirror a bit unnerving.

Much like my mental state, my physical state has improved. I haven’t seen my bright blue innocent eyes in over a year, but my gray irises were no longer completely lifeless. My dirty blonde hair has grown past the boobs that finally filled out, and I had been given the credit card for a salon visit that added platinum highlights and fringe bangs. With the dirty guilt money that my crap dad forked over, Mom and I went shopping at a bunch of unique and vintage boutiques.

My style went from a timid sixteen-year-old with no understanding of fashion, to full on hipster babe. I am proud of what my body and soul has survived, and I try to show that through my outward appearance too.

There was no more Diana. Not just in name, but in spirit. I couldn’t be Diana anymore. That girl lived on hopes and dreams. The world already took her down once. It was best to let her go so I could be who I wanted to be. Who I needed to be. I took my mother’s maiden name and embraced being Phoenix Carter.

I keep staring at the person I’ve become, a person I actually like, when I feel my mother approach. Mom is a classic beauty, the kind that shines inside and out. She places her hands on my shoulders and for a moment we just make eye contact through the mirror, saying so much without any words at all.

When she exhales, I know she has accepted my choice. “I can’t say that I am happy with this path you have chosen, but I know deep down it is something you have to do.” Her chin moves to rest against me. “While I realize that you are in a much better place now, and can undoubtedly handle whatever this year brings, I would like you to check in with me as often as possible.”

A goddess, my mother.

“I promise, Mom. You’ll get sick of the daily calls and unending text messages.” I turn around in her arms, and she places her forehead to my own.

“Nix, every single message and phone call means more than you will ever be able to understand.” I nod, breaking our contact.

A small chill runs through me and I exit the bathroom. It’s the last place I would want to have a conversation with my mom considering she found me sitting in a bathtub of my own watered-down blood.

We head back down to the parking lot after locking the door to my dorm and I walk her back to her car. My violin case in her backseat is the last item left to unpack, and I grab it before setting it down gently on the sidewalk so I can bring my mom in for a hug. Her arms are tight around me as we embrace, as if she's afraid to let go. It lasts way longer than a normal hug, but I can tell we both need it.

When she gets into her driver seat, she hesitates for a moment. Looking back at me, a warm smile graces her face. It goes against every one of her motherly instincts to leave me here, but this is what I want. It's what I need. I give her one last wave and she finally starts the car up before pulling away from the curb.

I watch her car fade away as the distance between us grows larger.

Only the sounds of a motorcycle entering the lot pull my attention away. I can't help but watch the way the bike smoothly glides into its spot. There's something familiar about the leather jacket of the rider, and when he pulls his helmet off, I'm pleasantly surprised.

With a smirk that could tempt an angel and ice blue eyes that look me up and down, stands Gunner Wright. “Well damn, if you aren't a sight for sore eyes, Nixy.” He flicks the kickstand with his foot and tosses one leg over to dismount.

“G, what in the world are you doing here?”

He runs his hand over his dark hair, as if his helmet could have messed up the buzz cut. His skin is tanned from the summer, and still every bit as lickable as I remember.

I met Gunner while I was in Green Woods, the mental health facility a few towns over. We had several casual conversations, but once I was released, I hadn’t made as much of an effort. I've been focusing on practicing my violin and making sure I was mentally prepared to head back to the source of my nightmares.

He hangs his helmet on the bike and starts walking my way. “My mom just married husband number five, and we moved into his mcmansion over the summer. They decided last week to enroll me in this fancy place.” He doesn’t seem pleased with the news, letting out an exasperated sigh. “I’m guessing because I won’t be at home alone while they do whatever it is they have planned for the next year.”

“Got to be honest with you, I certainly didn’t expect to see you at Blisshaven after everything you’ve been through.” One side of his mouth lifts in a small smile.

During our chats, I'd given him bits and pieces of my history that led to my entering Green Woods, but never the full picture. “I can’t say that I am exactly thrilled to be here, but I won’t let my past define the possibilities of my future.”

Slowly, as if scared I might flinch, his hand comes up to twirl in my hair. We've had more than a few moments like this, where it seemed that our casual flirting might turn into more, but it wasn’t like we could sneak around when we’ve seen each other before.

“Well, if you’re expecting any push back, you have an ally. Even if these kids weren’t the ones who hurt you, I would take any reason to fuck with a bunch of rich dicks, but for you?" His hand is still playing with the ends of my hair, and the gravely tone of his voice is stirring up butterflies in my stomach. "I'd be happy to bring my worst.”

I sigh. It’s a very romantic offer in my opinion. “To be honest, I don’t know if anyone will even remember me. I changed my name, grew boobs, and dyed my hair. And I don’t really care to make waves.”

Gunner looks confused.

“These people don’t notice anyone they can’t use for their own gain or hurt for their entertainment. Maybe something simple like a new hair style shouldn’t be a Clark Kent disguise, but believe me, it is.” My shoulder lifts up in a shrug. “Plus, the dickheads from before were expelled and sent away by their parents due to whatever negative attention they may have gotten."

He finally drops my hair and looks me in the eyes straight on. "I'm not sure how anyone could forget you, Nix."

Turning my head, I try to hide what his words do to me. Having someone on my side for once would be a nice change of pace. But Gunner? I don't just want him by my side. Though I'm sure there are a few interesting positions where we could make that happen too.

I’ve been locked up in a mental institution for a while. Of course, sex is on the brain.

"I just want to get through my classes on top, and kick ass at the annual concert at the end of the year. From there, I want to get into a great music school, and move the hell on.”

He nods along with my words, and I feel like he might be ready to move on with our conversation.

"That's too bad. I'd love a chance to fuck with the people who hurt my favorite girl. It's not right that someone would take advantage of you and I know I don't even have the full picture."

He picks up my violin case for me and I loop my arm through his free arm. "Well, G man, let's go dig into the last of the junk food I have from the drive over. We can make fun of all the rich kids we have to see starting tomorrow and get a sugar high."

The way his lips glide up to reveal his teeth makes my panties melt. You know those cheesy romance books that talk about how a man's smile makes them feel all fluttery in the tummy or whatever? I get it, but I think they're just a bunch of horny hoes if I'm going off my own reactions.

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