"Nixy, baby, give me a second." He takes off his helmet and I realize I still have mine on too. Whoops. I take it off and start pulling on him too.
"We don't have to rush into anything." Gunner sounds so calm, which doesn't make sense considering he seemed to be all for this back at the coffee shop.
He runs a hand down his face and inhales deeply. Releasing a deep breath, he looks me straight in the eyes. "I promise I'm not trying to confuse you, Nixy. Fuck, I'm confusing myself."
He grabs my hand and pulls me closer to him. "I really like you, baby. All I have thought about since we danced is how good it felt to have your lips on my skin."
Same, dude.
I look down so he can't see the blush this brings to my face, but his other hand reaches up and raises my face so he can look in my eyes again.
"We can't rush into this." I start to interrupt him, but he shakes his head at me. "You're important, Phoenix Carter. And until you know that as much as I do, I need for this to take a backseat."
Of course. Now I'm too damaged to fuck. Great.
"I don't know what's going through your head but stop that shit." His voice is angry. I haven't heard it sound this way since he told the guys to fuck off when he found out they were my former tormentors.
Am I that transparent to him?
"Baby, that's what I mean. You don't even trust yourself." He says this gently.
"That's not true." Even though I know I'm lying.
He raises a brow at me. "Tell me your mind didn't immediately conjure up some hateful thought about yourself."
I don't know if it's sexy or scary that he can read me so well.
"You don't trust yourself to know that you aren't the problem. You can't trust me to take care of you. We can't climb into a bed and get lost in each other if afterwards you're going to hate yourself. That's not what you need right now, and I don't want to be the guy who makes you realize that the wrong way."
It's a harsh truth, but I guess he's right. I hate that he's being so reasonable.
He looks into my eyes like he’s expecting me to change my mind and before I know it, he's got a hand behind my head and is crushing our lips together.
Fuck, it's so much better than I thought it would be.
His other hand slides down my back and pulls me closer until my body is up against his with no space between us. My hands grasp at his on the back of his shoulders. I need something to help ground me because I feel like I might float away in this moment.
Gunner nips at my bottom lip so I open for him, and his tongue glides against mine. I don't know how much time passes before I'm forced back down to the real world.
"Fuck, baby." His forehead is pressed to mine. I can't even open my eyes. I don't want to go back to a world where Gunner doesn't kiss me like that every day. Several times a day. "Nix, that was...incredible."
I giggle like the annoying teenage girl I am. "I agree."
He looks to the sky, blowing out a breath before looking back at me.
"I've been crushing on you since the day I finally got you to pet Henry at Green Woods. It didn’t seem like I was ever going to get a shot though. Now that you're out of treatment, and we are both here at Blisshaven, it feels like I finally got my chance."
I had no idea. I hoped I wasn't the only one who could feel attraction between us, but his words help heal the hurt from our conversation.
He wants me. I can wait.
"You’re still working on you. I've seen how focused you are on your mental well-being and that type of strength is so fucking sexy to me." I can tell that Gunner isn't attempting to feed me a line. He isn't brushing me off. His words are determined, but gentle.
As much as I'd love to get him to my room and I had every intention of doing so, I'm glad he is tapping the brakes. The last time I felt anything for someone, my heart was crushed into so many pieces I didn't think I would ever feel whole again.
Resting my head against his chest, I feel him settle his chin on top of my hair. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I know I’m coming on strong. It doesn’t feel like me. I mean sure I tend to have no filter and a dirty mind, but I kind of lose my shit around you. When I see you, I just feel so…”
I want to say safe, but that seems like a dangerous thought to speak into existence. Instead, I change course, lightening the mood so he doesn't feel so bad about letting me down.