Page 105 of Obsession Under the Southern Stars

“What are you afraid of?” he asks softly.

“That you won’t want me when I tell you the rest.”

“Try me.”

Still, I gnaw my bottom lip, my gaze sliding to his throat. I shouldn’t have come here. This isn’t going to work. I don’t want to open up and confess. I wish I hadn’t told him any of it.

He moves back and takes my hand again, and we continue walking. I wonder whether he realizes it’s easier when I don’t have to look at him.

“I know it’s about what happened when you were young,” he prompts. “And that when you told Charles, he didn’t react well.”

“Understatement of the year,” I mumble.

We walk for about another minute while I wrestle with myself. I know I need to tell him, but I just can’t find the words or the courage.

Eventually he stops again. I wait for him to scold me, to get impatient and give me an ultimatum. But instead he says, “Okay, if you can’t bring yourself to tell me, I’m going to guess.”

My eyes widen. “What?”

He looks into my eyes for a moment. “You were fourteen,” he says. “But probably looked older. Maybe it was a one-off, maybe not, but I’m guessing either you didn’t understand the importance of contraception, or he talked you into not using it. When you got pregnant, it shocked you and your family, especially your mum, who’s very religious. I’m thinking that maybe she took you away to have the baby. I’m guessing it might have been to your grandparents in Australia. When he was born, you were very unwell, physically, and maybe emotionally and mentally too. And the baby didn’t die. I think your mum made the decision that she was going to bring the baby up as her own, as your brother.”

I’m so shocked that I can’t speak. I stand there in the middle of the forest, my jaw near my knees, staring at him like an idiot.

“What… how…” I can’t form the words.

“I knew you must have been very young. I guessed fourteen because of the way you reacted when I mentioned Linc’s age,” he says. “And I thought that maybe Rory was your son when youwere on the phone to him after the storm. You had an expression on your face… tender, motherly, and it sort of all fell into place.” His eyes hold the same calmness that they had when we were under the ocean.

“I can’t believe you’ve known since then.” My eyes prick with tears, and I press my fingers to my lips.

“Aw, it’s okay.” He pulls me into his arms and hugs me.

I bury my face in the crook of his neck. He knows? He’s known since then, and he still says he wants to be with me? I close my eyes, thinking about the look on Charles’s face when I told him, the disgust, the disappointment. I can’t believe Joel’s reaction is so different.

“What happened yesterday?” Joel asks. “I’m guessing you spoke to your parents about Rory?”

I sniff and move back, wiping beneath my eyes. “I asked Mum not to go to Darwin. I said it wasn’t fair for her to take Rory away from me. And I said I wanted to tell him the truth.”

“That you’re his mother?”

I nod.

He’s silent for a while. He takes my hand, and we turn and start walking again. I listen to the birds calling in the trees, letting him think about it.

Eventually he says, “What did your mum say?”

“She said no, and threw me out.”

His eyebrows lift. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. I threatened to tell Rory the truth, and she told me to leave.” My face flushes. “That was unfair of me, I know. But I was angry and resentful.”

“That’s understandable.”

“I wanted to force her hand. To make her see how much I was hurting.”

“I’m so sorry.” He lifts my hand to his lips and kisses my fingers. “You’ve been through so much, and it’s not fair.”

I take a deep, shaky breath, and let it out slowly. His sympathy means more to me than he can ever know.

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