Page 95 of Sidelined Love

I feel a weight lift off my shoulders hearing him say those words, but this conversation is far from over.

“Dad, I've never blamed you for how you pushed me after Caleb… you know…” My voice trails off. Even now, it's hard for me to say my brother's name out loud at times. “But I need you to understand how much that hurts. For years, I’ve felt as if I’d never measure up to him.”

My dad's eyes glisten with tears. “Losing Caleb nearly destroyed me. I was so blinded by grief and anger that I lost sight of what really mattered—you. My remaining son.”

He inhales a shaky breath, his chest rising and falling in uneven rhythm. I squeeze his hand tighter, hoping this conversation isn’t doing more damage to his heart.

“After the accident, I was desperate to hold onto anything that connected me to Caleb, and hockey was a big part of that. So I pushed you relentlessly, trying to relive his glory days through you. It wasn't fair to you, and I'm sorry, Levi. Truly sorry.”

“I wanted to make you proud,” I say quietly. “All the extra practices, the diets, the training… I did it all to try and live up to an impossible standard. And it was never enough for you.”

My dad shakes his head, his eyes full of regret. “You have nothing to prove, son. Your brother was one kind of man, and you're another. There's enough space in this world for both even if one is gone.”

When I don’t respond right away, he continues. “I know I've got a lot to make up for and this has been a wakeup call once again alerting us to how precious life is,” he says quietly. “But I'll do better from here on out.”

I let out a deep breath in order to control my emotions. “I'd like that. For us to start again.”

He gives my hand a weak squeeze. “Me too, son.”

A nurse comes in to check on him, and I stand up to give her space. She asks my dad some questions and records his vitals, informing us that the doctor will be in soon.

As she leaves, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out and see a text from Hailey.

Hailey: Okay. Can’t wait to talk to you later.

She's been my rock through all of this. I wish I could be there with her, but I don't want to leave my dad's side.

“Who's that?” my dad asks, noticing me looking at my phone.

“It's Hailey,” I say. “She’s teaching chess to some of the residents at Oak Terrace today.”

“She seems like a special girl.”

I can't help but smile a little thinking about her. “She is. I don't know what I'd do without her right now.”

“Are you supposed to be there with her today?”

I nod. “I am.”

“But you stayed back because of me?” When I confirm his assumption, he speaks again. “You should go to her. I'll be alright,” he urges.

“Are you sure?” I ask hesitantly. I don't want him to think I'm abandoning him.

“Positive. Go ahead and do something for yourself. Your mom should be back soon anyway.”

I weigh my options, torn between staying with my dad and spending time with Hailey. It's been nonstop chaos since his heart attack, and a break sounds fantastic. Plus, I can help her.

“Alright. If you're sure you'll be okay. I really don't mind staying.”

“I'm sure,” he insists. “Go spend some time with your girl. Tell her I said hello, and I look forward to meeting her properly when I’m out of here.”

“Will do,” I promise. I grab my coat and take one last glance back at my dad. He gives me an encouraging smile. With that, I head out into the hallway as I’m pulling my coat on. I wave to one of the nurses that I recognize because he's been caring for my dad and take the elevator down to the ground floor. I need to find my mother and let her know that I’m heading out.

I find my mom sitting at a small table in the corner of the hospital cafeteria, a cup of coffee in her hands, her gaze distant.

“Hey, Mom,” I say.

She looks up, and a small, weary smile touches her lips. “How is he?” she asks, setting her coffee down.

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