Page 48 of Lost in Life

It took a frustratingly long amount of time for the kid to organize an alternate transportation out my way. A discreet one I’ve been assured.

The ride back into town is filled with awkward silence. The man Tavish sent carefully avoids looking at West, as if by pretending West is not in the car means that he won’t be implicated in his still being alive. I recognize the man from the old Order, so I can understand the hesitancy in his actions.

I pull up my phone, looking again at the map Tavish sent over showing Nova’s last pinged location, grateful our service is military grade or something like that. Because, unlike a regular cell plan, I can get a signal just about anywhere.

It also means the kid can track down just about anyone, making me a little uneasy even though the fact is helping my current situation.

Can’t hide anywhere anymore.

I long for the easier days when slipping into obscurity was much simpler. Sure, there was still tracking measures, but nothing to the extent I’ve seen Tavish be able to accomplish with just a few clicks on a keyboard.

Who would have thought that anyone’s ultimate demise could be orchestrated by a candy hungry, nerdy kid with more brains than any one person should possess.

Sure as shit not me.

Clearing his throat, our driver glances at me out of the corner of his eye. “You sure about this?” He whispers, eyes darting to the rearview mirror and back to me.

Following his gaze, I look back and notice West has succumbed to sleep, his mouth hanging open, a little stream of drool slipping from the corner of his lips. He snorts, shifting in the seat to lean his head against the window.

His innocence is evident as he slumbers. My chest spasms as I look him over, being reminded of another once innocent person who got trapped in the web of destruction that is my life.

The reminder of Kate solidifies my need to find Nova, to make sure sh-they are okay.

My gaze remains fixated on West, a pang of guilt hitting me at the strong feelings I have for both of them.

I thought I loved Kate, Ididlove her. But the way I already feel about the two forces of nature that blew into my life, creating chaos everywhere they touch? There’s no comparison.

Something about them…it makes me feel something I never thought I would feel, not truly.

When I think of West and Nova, when I witness the fire burning within each of them. In those moments I feel settled.

I feel like I’m finally home.

Nova

I clutch the worn photograph in my hands, memorizing every feature, trying to find any resemblance.

My father.

I carefully move one hand to run my finger down his tall frame. He’s not smiling in the photo, his expression set in a grim line.

I long to know what he’s thinking. To know everything about him.

Folding the photograph, I slip it into my back pocket, holding my hand up at my mother’s protest. “No.” I say forcefully, brushing past her. “You had your chance. For twenty-four fucking years you had your chance to tell me, to say your piece.”

Stopping abruptly, I spin on my heels. “This was the last straw.” Her eyes widen, lip trembling. I leer at her, finally seeing her for who she is. “Enjoy your life, Ella.” With that, I turn back toward the exit and leave. Closing the door on that chapter of my life once and for all.

A weight has been lifted from my chest, even as my stomach sinks.

I know who my father is.

My brain knows the individual words, but can’t quite grasp their meaning all together.

Climbing behind the wheel of Zayn’s car, I close the door softly behind me and stare out the windshield, my mind racing and empty all at once.

I don’t know what I expected to get out of visiting my mother, butthiswas the last thing I ever would have expected to stumble on.

With numb fingers, I stretch the seatbelt across my chest and buckle it in place.

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