Page 41 of Guarded Rebellion

Eva. She wasn’t supposed to bemine.

I’d claimed her virginity, and the notion that I had rocked me to my core.

I’d fucked her. Raw, gritty, dirty, and hard. And she loved it. She milked me good, squeezing my dick so tight. I never could’ve guessed that she had a kink for spankings.

“I just want to…” She squeaked, her alarm clear as she almost fell.

“Wait.”

I lunged forward to catch her before she’d fall. Crashing to the floor wasn’t necessary. Her haste to get off me and escape wasn’t either. Once I had her upright, I loosened the knot I’d tiedin her coat sleeves. They gave me just enough slack to bind her, but now that she stood on shaky legs, her dress fell back into place and hid her thighs from my view. Her coat slipped off her arms, though, pooling on the carpet.

She didn’t make eye contact, letting her long brown hair curtain her face. Behind that veil, she could’ve been wincing or near tears again. She could’ve been smiling in triumph or slack-jawed with shock. I wouldn’t know, though, because she drew a deep breath and left.

I sat still, my dick wet and still hard as I watched her go. She didn’t slam the door to her room after she slipped inside it, but that wasn’t saying much. She talked back and fought me every chance she could, but she didn’t throw tantrums or resort to violent actions.

“Fuck.” The admission came out of me like a punch of air. I dragged my hands over my face and swallowed back a groan.

I fucked her when I knew damn well I had no right to even touch her. I claimed her virginity when I had no business to have it. She would be arranged with someone else. Not me. I was just a soldier, an orphan welcomed into their family. Eva marrying me wouldn’t amount to any increase of power for anyone.

Stuck where I was, unmoving on the couch, I listened to the water being turned on from her quarters. A shower made sense, but I couldn’t muster the energy to get up yet.

I shouldn’t have done that.Yet, as I thought back to how we’d both come so close to snapping, I had to recognize that she was just as much at fault. She hadn’t told me no. She hadn’t resisted me. She’d begged for it, physically and with words, giving me her saucy consent.

She shouldn’t have let me have her virginity.

She knew better. I did too, but dammit, one of us should’ve been strong enough to hold on to common sense.

I sat there for so long, analyzing how we’d let this happen. The water shut off, but she didn’t exit her room. Eventually, I got up and showered, but I returned to the couch to watch for her to come out and have to address this with me.

I waited. And waited. All night long, she stayed sequestered in her room. It was a blatant avoidance, but I couldn’t blame her. She had to be reeling just the same as I was, and I wasn’t surprised that she took the easy—if cowardly—way out of speaking about it.

Space wouldn’t hurt either of us. I remained on the couch, pensive but too obstinate not to feel guilty about this happening. I would not, ever in my life, admit an ounce of regret. She felt like heaven, a perfect mixture of stubborn and submissive. A delicate blend of boldness and vulnerability. And she’d trustedmeto make her feel good. She chosemeto take her for the first time. No one else. Not any other man.

In hindsight, I realized that I’d overreacted. Seeing someone else touching her had provoked me to experience a degree of possessiveness that I couldn’t control, and it was just Kismet that she was in sync, desiring me just as much.

My eyes drifted closed, and still, I didn’t move. Like a sentinel on the couch, I stayed put in case she’d step out of her room. All the while, as sleep crept closer, I wished that I could talk to her, that I could check on her now that the heat of the moment had passed. Now that the primal anger and lust had been vented out and acted on, I could attempt a more civil conversation.

I had no clue what I would tell her. Words wouldn’t string together. It hardly mattered if I could rehearse something to tell her. Because as I lost the willpower to stay awake, I was pulled into a restless sleep.

In the morning, I woke with a stiff neck from being on the sofa instead of a bed. The mattress was fine, but the pillowssucked. This couch was no better, though. I kept my eyes closed at the sound of Eva moving around in the kitchen. Freezing my body to stay in place, breathing as evenly as possible, I hoped she would act as though I wasn’t awake so I could catch more of whatever she was saying.

“I’m just glad that Lev came to get you,” Kelly said. Her voice came loud and clear, and I had never been happier for speakerphone capacities.

“Well, yeah. I knew when I snuck out that the odds were high he would,” Eva replied quietly. Despite her running water, presumably to make coffee, I heard every word she admitted.

“Once I saw him walking out with you, I knew you’d be safe,” Kelly said with a deep sigh of relief. “The second we got split up in that crowd, I panicked. I looked for you everywhere, but it was like you’d disappeared.”

“Yeah, I, um, got pushed aside,” Eva replied, glossing over the truth. I bet she didn’t want to tell her new friend just what she almost got pushed into suffering, too.

“But Lev found you. And just in time.” Kelly huffed a bitter laugh. “I’m so glad we made the stupid plan to go to that party when we did and not any later. I didn’t want to stay, and if we had, we might have found ourselves in an even worse spot.”

Eva had found herself in a bad position.

“What do you mean?” Eva asked.

“You haven’t heard?” Kelly replied, incredulous.

“Heard what? Come on, Kel. You know you’re the only person I really talk to here.”

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