Page 49 of I Know She Was There

“But you didn’t call us back. You never set up an appointment.”

I looked down. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Caroline. You’ve done me no harm. Yet you’ve suffered needlessly. Within the past few months, you’ve erased all the progress we made during almost two years at the institute.” He frowned. “And now you’ve had to relive the horror of Emmy’s passing.”

My heart plunged into my stomach.Not my Emmy. She couldn’t be gone, could she? It had to be a cruel joke.

“You’ll be okay, Caroline,” the doctor said, his hand on mine. “We just have to discover what caused your relapse.”

“But I never knew what happened to her?—”

“You did, indeed, know what happened to your child. And I’m sorry to tell you we will now have to go through everything all over again.”

A shiver coursed through me.

“What do you mean by ‘go through everything?’”

His hazel eyes locked on mine. “It’s okay,” he said softly. “You already know the worst. You may find this form of exposure therapy a relief, as you slowly recall things again.”

“I don’t think so.”

He patted my hand. “No need to worry about that now. I’ll be with you every step of the way, along with Ms. Turner, who wants to continue her involvement in your case. This will get better, Caroline, even though you doubt that at this moment. For now, get some rest.”

As I watched him walk out the door, I wished I’d never have to see him, or anyone, ever again. How would I be okay without Emmy? I sighed, long and loud. The best I could do was pretend to get better. Just long enough for the doctors to trust me on my own. And then I could end it all, for good.

CHAPTER27

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 12

Adifferent nurse came in, clutching something, just as the first rays of sun peeked through the slats in the partially open blinds. She tipped the contents of a small cup into my outstretched hand. I eagerly shoved the pills into my mouth. The meds made me sleep.

“A half a pill for you and a half for me,” I murmured, taking a swig of water from a glass I’d snatched from my bedside table.

“What was that?” asked the nurse, her large brown eyes looking into mine, reminding me of the woman at the window at... where was it?

“In Deer Crossing,” I mumbled.

“A half a pill for you in deer crossing?” Her fingertips brushed my arm as gently as a feather touching down. “What does that mean, dear?”

“It means, well, it means a couple of things,” I said, unable to form a coherent thought about the disparate topics. “The half a pill, well, that was a game my mother and I used to play. A way to get me to eat food I didn’t like or take my medicine. She’d share it with me. The woman in Deer Crossing.” I paused, thinking about her. “Annie Connolly. She was in a bad way. An awfully bad way.”

The nurse tilted her head slightly. “How so?” I watched her hand caress my forearm, her rich, dark skin making my pale arm look stark and sickly.

“I think she died,” I whispered.

Her beautiful brown eyes widened, and her brows shot up. “You do? Why is that?”

“Because I couldn’t get to her in time.”

“Really?”

“Really good or really bad?” asked Dr. Ellison playfully, overhearing the nurse’s question as he entered the room. He smiled at us both and scratched his head, sending his salt-and-pepper hair sticking up at an odd angle.

“Really bad.” I wanted to reach out and smooth down his hair.

“Caroline was telling me about a woman named Annie Connolly at a deer crossing who was in trouble—” began the nurse.

“Deer Crossing is a neighborhood,” I clarified.

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