Page 69 of Hazel and Elijah Find Out: First They F*cked Around

It was a comfort to sink beneath the earth, in the musky smell of stale air. Almost like I hit the pause button on every descent down the stairs.

I didn’t want to respond to her comment, instead I gestured to the freshly cleared basement floor. “Look at all of this room.”

I couldn’t see her face, but I could sense her frown—it floated down to cover surfaces like the dust in the air. “Did you sleep last night?”

“Of course I slept.”

It wasn’t a lie… I’d sleptsome.

She was quiet for a moment. I opened the flaps of the next box and peered inside. Keeping busy was key. If I stopped moving, I’d be able to feel just how devastated I was.

A stair creaked as Nora took a single step down. “Have you eaten?”

My arms jerked to a halt halfway inside the box.

When was the last time I’d eaten?

“I’ll take that as a no,” she said. “Come on up.”

“No, just throw a protein bar at me.”

“I am not bringing food down here. That’s disgusting. Come up, and wash your hands.”

I expected her demanding words, but I didn’t expect them to be carried in a gentle tone. It sucked all my resistance out of me. My joints cracked as I stretched my arms over my head. There were squares of cleanish carpet, outlined in brown dust. It danced in the sunlight, too stubborn to be held back by the grimy windows.

The surgical mask I wore over my mouth and nose clung to my cheeks as I peeled it off and set it down. Turning, I moved toward the exit. My movements were sluggish, my arms and legs heavier than normal.

When I got to the bottom step, Nora announced, “I’ll be in the break room when you’re cleaned up.”

The water flowed brown from my hands and arms. My eyes blinked too slowly, they wanted to stay closed. I startled, catching sight of myself in the mirror. My usual dark circles were partially obscured by streaky dirt—at least there was a clean area around my mouth and nose. I took a few more minutes to wipe my face and neck clean.

The smell of cumin and chili powder would have led me to the break room if Nora hadn’t already told me she’d be there. There was a steaming bowl of chili on the table when I entered, along with crackers, and a spoon next to it.

“Sit down.” Nora nodded toward the chair.

My stomach growled. “That smells so good.”

“It is. Sit down. Eat.”

She lowered into the seat opposite me. I lifted the spoon to my lips and took a bite of the hearty soup. It tasted similar to my mom’s, except spicier.

Nora chewed on a protein bar and stared out the window. At some point while I was in the basement, it had snowed more. It had been two weeks since Elijah had left, and I wished I could bury the memory as easily as the snow buried the grass and trees. Or if I could clean it out like I was the ancient, useless items in the clinic’s basement. But those memories and the terrible feelings were always waiting, never quite plucked from my heart.

I looked up to find Nora considering me with sad brown eyes.

She sighed. “Remi said he’d work your shift today.”

I swallowed a spoonful of chili too quickly and it burned my throat on the way down. “Why?”

“Because you need to sleep.”

“I do not need to sleep. I need to work.”

She shook her head.

Rolling my eyes, I leaned back in my chair. “If he’s going to do my shift, I’m just going to keep cleaning.”

“No, you’re gonna go home and go to bed. I’m gonna drive you there.”

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