Page 35 of Say It Slowly

“Hey, little brother,” James says with a smile, sitting in the chair across from me. “It’s good to see you.”

No mention of the fact that it’s been weeks since I’ve come up. He doesn’t roll like that. He would never guilt me.

I look up, and note how gaunt his face looks. He’s aged ten years in the ten months he's been here.

“Hey,” I answer, forcing a smile. “How are things going?”

He shrugs one shoulder. “You know, same shit, different day.”

In this light, I can see he’s sporting a black eye that’s already started to fade into a mottled yellow. Fights are pretty common here, and that unsavory fact makes my chest feel tight. We fought enough as kids, mostly against my dad. He was an angry drunk, and Jamesalwaysdefended me, often taking a beating to spare me one. Will he ever be free of violence?

“You’ll be out of here soon,” I say. “Just a few more weeks until your court date.”

James shakes his head and laughs, like this is all a joke. “Yeah, don’t count on it, little brother. The system is fucked.”

I sit back, and cross my arms over my chest, uncomfortable with his level of acceptance. He should be fighting like hell, screaming out his innocence to anyone who will listen. Instead, he looks resigned. It sucks seeing him so defeated.

“What does your lawyer say?” I ask, already knowing the answer. What Ihaven’ttold my brother is that I’m in constant communication with his lawyer. I keep James in that dark about it, because until I have good news to share, why involve him?

James sighs and glances up at the ceiling, his hands in front of him, chained. “Unless we can get a retraction, he’s not hopeful.”

It’s really fucked that all of this hinges on the statement of one person.Oneperson can completely ruin another person’s life with a single accusation.

I push out a breath. “Try not to think about it,” I say. “We’ll just see what happens in court.”

James' eyes narrow at me. “Tell me you’re not going to be there.”

He’s been adamant about Mom and me not coming to court, or reading the court documents. That last request, Ihavehonored, because it’s all a bunch of lies, anyway. What good would reading all that bullshit do?

But each time the subject of me attending court comes up, I say nothing. Not confirming. Not denying. His entire life is on the line. For the charges he’s facing, he’s looking at twenty-five years to life. That’s a big fucking deal.

Instead of answering, I just shrug.

He sits back in his chair. “Nah, man. You’re not coming to court. I don’t want you there, and tell Mom I don’t want her there, either.” Metal chains scrape against the table as he lifts his hand and points at me. “I’m not joking.”

Tension pulls in my jaw. “I can’t promise anything.”

“I’m asking this one thing of you, Roman. This one fuckin’ thing.”

I push out a breath. Every human freedom has been snatched away from him, and now, I’m denying him this, too. “Mom is pretty set on coming.” I pause. “But I’ll see what I can do.”

“Good. Thank you.” The muscles in his shoulders visibly relax, and he nods. “Hey, can you do me a favor?”

“Yeah, sure. What?”

Reaching into the waistband of his pants, he pulls out a folded note and slides it across the table to me. I stare at it for a second, then glance around at the guards. No one has seen him pass the note to me, but I glance up and see about a dozen cameras covering every angle of this room.

“Don’t worry,” he says. “Notes are allowed. They’ll check it on the way out, but as long as it doesn’t have any inflammatory language, they’ll let you take it.”

I start to unfold it, but he reaches out and stops me. “Don’t read it,” he says. “Just...promise me you’ll get it to her.”

He doesn’t say her name, but I know exactly who he’s talking about.

“I thought you’d been given a no-contact order,” I say, glancing up at him. There’s a wild look in his eyes, like a junkiedesperate for his next fix. But in this case, the drug in question is a girl.

“I just think if she knew—” He stops himself, aware that the people around us could be watching, and listening. He leans in a bit and lowers his voice. “There are some things I need her to know. Some things that could convince her to put a stop to all of this.”

There’s no fucking way I’m giving this note to anyone. James violating his no-contact order is a bad-fucking-idea. I hold it up. “There’s no telling where this chick is.”

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