Page 40 of Love Me Till Wednesday

‘No, not lying down. Though if I were twenty years younger, I might have kitted it out with some soft furnishings to lure the ladies in. I meant here.’ Ed opened a door to allow Pete to sit in the small seat behind the driver. Pete had to bend his knees sharply to fit in the cosy space.

Lisa looked across at him. ‘Perhaps I should sit there.’

Pete shook his head. ‘It’s fine for now. It’s not like I’m going to be in here for long.’

‘Actually, it might be a while. We’re going to pick up Tez from Euston.’ Ed announced as he got behind the steering wheel.

‘We’re what?’ Lisa asked.

‘Tez went home to Birmingham yesterday for his mom’s birthday. We’re picking him up from the station.’ Ed started the engine and pulled away from the kerb before Lisa had an opportunity to object.

‘I’m feeling very conspicuous,’ Lisa said as Ed turned onto Camden High Street. So far, they’d travelled a few hundred yards and been gawped at by several dozen people. One man even waved. Lisa waved back.

‘It’s a bit more of a head turner than the van,’ Pete commented. ‘How secure is it? All our gear’s going to be on show.’

‘That’s where the curtains come in. We draw those across so no one will be able to see it stashed in the back. Andthere’s space under the deck if we want to put the guitar and keyboard cases completely out of sight.’

Lisa looked behind her at the one remaining empty seat.

‘There’s one major problem,’ she said. ‘We’ll be a five-piece band when we recruit Jonny’s replacement.’

‘Ok. So at least one of us will have to follow behind in a car or go on the tube. It still tops a Ford Transit.’ He went to accelerate away from the traffic lights, but he let the clutch up too fast and stalled the engine.

‘I haven’t quite the feel of the biting point yet,’ he said, turning the ignition key again. The engine refused to start. He tried again. Still no joy. ‘Paul did mention she could be a bit temperamental.’

‘She?’

‘Yes, he called her Lilith.’

‘Lilith?’

‘Some people think she was Adam’s first wife. A hot and fiery demon.’

‘She’s not very hot and fiery now,’ Pete muttered.

Ed glared at him. ‘We’ll have to do a push start.’

‘And who’s doing that?’ Lisa asked.

‘You and Pete,’ Ed said. ‘I’m the only one who’s insured to drive her.’

The driver in the car behind started sounding his horn.

‘We’ve not got much choice, Lise,’ Pete said as he got out of the car.

‘You’ve gone viral again, Mother,’ Elise announced as she walked into Lisa’s study later that afternoon.

Lisa groaned. ‘You’d think people would be fed up of watching me trip over by now.’

‘No, not that one. This is a whole new level of embarrassment.’ Elise tapped a few buttons and showed Lisa her phone screen.

Lisa watched in horror as the fuzzy image morphed into a video of the rear view of Pete and Lisa pushing the hearse. Did her backside really look that big? Fortunately, her Union Jack Crocs drew the attention away from it, as did Pete’s Christmas bear pyjamas. At least you couldn’t see their faces.

Then the viewing angle changed as whoever had filmed them ran along the pavement to get a side view. You could see the hearse in all its glory now and more of Pete and Lisa when Ed engaged the clutch, and the engine coughed into life. As Pete and Lisa celebrated with a high-five, their faces were clearly visible. Bugger!

Lisa scrolled through the comments. People were mostly being rude about their dress sense and the hearse being handy for when they shuffled off this mortal coil in the not too distant future. ‘Charming! At least no one recognised us,’ Lisa said.

Elise looked uncomfortable.

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