Page 41 of Just My Ex

“I’ll be right over here,” he says, and I crack my eyes open just enough to see him sink down onto the sofa across from me.

Sorrow grips me, followed by grief and finally anger. I tear off the heat pack and bolt upright.

“I can’t believe Marley.”

“That was hostile. It looks like it’s a good thing that you won’t be working near her anymore.”

“Yes, but I think I’m going to miss my job, Henry. I was really enjoying it, getting the hang of it. I had friendships with a lot of my coworkers. They’ve been reaching out … worried about me. I can’t believe all this has happened.” I cover my mouth and nose with my hands and then force myself to breathe. I lower my hands and motion to him. “Tell me how your work’s going.”

He studies me carefully. “There are some big changes on the horizon for my work life.” He hesitates. “I wish I could be more specific about it but—”

“Huh. Henry can’t tell me details about his work. Shocker.”

“I signed an NDA, Quinn.” His tone is soft and patient. “If I’m in breach of that, I’d face a big fine.”

I know all this. I’ve known it for years. It’s just that when we were married, sometimes I couldn’t see the forest for the trees, and I became resentful of it all.

I’ve always been proud of him and for the great honor it is to protect an ambassador. His work is noble. But keeping all of it inside poisons him.

He continues, his steady gaze never leaving mine. “We’re subcontracted with the French and Swiss governments since Evangeline’s a foreign ambassador and she has sons who also work for the government.” His eyes plead with me to understand, but he’s so … kind about it all.

When we were married and I pressed the issue, tired of not knowing where he was or how long he’d be gone, it often turned into either a big argument, or long periods of silence between us.

It wasn’t right of me, I know. And I wasn’t pressuring him to tell me state secrets! But I was lonely, and I let that cloud my judgement.

“I get it. It’s okay.”

“But there’s a lot I can tell you. For instance, a couple of weeks ago, I was in France at a technology convention, and I had to pretend to be interested, to know what all of it was about. I’m not great with tech.”

I roll my eyes. “I know.”

He nods, a smile starting to form. “Which is why we had you set up the new devices and do the household spreadsheets.”

“And the online tax stuff,” I remind him.

“Thank you.” His gaze is serious now. “You did so much for us. I took it for granted.”

My lips are dry, and I moisten them as I sort through my thoughts. “You gave up a lot to provide for us, and I didn’t show my gratitude enough, either.”

We’re quiet for a moment, and somehow, the pain in my chest when I think of my marriage to Henry is shifting a little. There’s a lightness that comes when I talk to him like this.

“Did you get to eat anything good in France?”

He scrunches his nose. “Not really. The Ostlins probably did, but I got mediocre, local takeout most of the time, and I’d eat it while watching security camera footage until I got motion sick. And then I’d be tired from having to put up with Evangeline’s grandsons’ middle-of-the night poker games and fermented food.”

“Ew.”

“Once I was in Prague, trying to find a Korean supermarket at one in the morning because he had a hankering for Kimchi. Do you know how hard it is to find Kimchi in Prague at one a.m.?”

I can’t help but laugh. “Well, did you find some?”

His smile is cheeky. “Of course I did.”

“One of these days, you’ll have to tell me how all of these Ostlin characters fit together. I swear it’s likeThe Young and the Restlessonly European government style.”

He smiles and leans forward on his knees. “Something like that.” He lets out a slow breath. “I can tell you a lot of it, hopefully sooner rather than later. There are some changes happening in my future.”

He cuts himself off and I’ve learned I have to be okay with that. I am mostly okay with it.