Page 4 of Everything I Desire

“Of course, I already spoke with her and let her know you might be coming to visit.”

I walk Kayla down to the office and we talk to the counselor together. She agrees to let Kayla work in the offices for the rest of the afternoon as long as she goes to gather the rest of her work. I’m glad for our guidance counselor. She’s truly amazing with each student, listening to them and offering loving support. This poor girl doesn’t need anything else thrown at her today.

After my last class, I call down to the office to let them know that Kayla can come down to my room again, and that the counselor should come too because Stacey is already here.

Kayla comes in with the counselor, and I can see every emotion playing out on her face. Her eyes show that same haunted look that Porter had at her age. The frown is etched deep on her face, and she carries herself slowly, the exhaustion showing in her body.

“I’m not going to New York with Uncle Porter. I’m just not,” she blurts out before anyone even says anything.

She takes the seat by me and puts her hand out for me to squeeze. This girl has wiggled her way deep into my heart over the last year.

“Okay Kayla. No one is going to force you to do anything right now, I promise. I did talk to your uncle this afternoon -”

Kayla interrupts her quickly, “And he can’t come, right?”

“Actually, he is coming. He will be here tomorrow morning, so you can stay with Ms. Harper this evening, and then Porter will be home for you tomorrow after school.” Kayla scoffs.

“Honey, I know this is hard. I know you haven’t been able to see your uncle in a long time, but I promise he cares about you very much and only wants what is best for you. He fought hard for you, but your Mom wouldn’t let him come around.”

I remember Stacey telling me about the court cases, many of them over so many years. They started only a couple years after he left.

“Yea. Whatever. I guess we’ll see how long he stays around.” She slumps back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest.

I give her a little squeeze with my arm around her shoulders. “Hey, you know what, you have a whole day to get used to this idea. And in the meantime, you and I can grab pizza and ice-cream for dinner. I bet my Mom will even come over and make cookies with us.” She loves my mom’s cookies, like everyone else.

Mom and Kayla get along well. She has taken Kayla under her wing, taking her shopping, and being there for her when Maura decides she doesn't like the relationship I have with her daughter. But no one can resist the charm of Lorelei Harper, including Maura.

Kayla nods. She looks so defeated with her life and I can’t blame her.

But now, I have my own problem beyond this situation with Kayla.

Porter Jackson is coming home to Lupine Valley for the first time in ten years.

The realization that I’m going to see him again after ten years hits me like a freight train. My chest constricts, and it seems impossible to breathe.

My emotions are ping ponging between hurt, anger, and excitement. The memories of us have me hoping that he’s staying and we can get another chance. What will I do if he comes back with a wife? Or a girlfriend? I can’t bear to see him with someone else. But at the same time the memories of that morning when Willow found me are just as clear, add on to that the fact that he wouldn’t even talk to me after he left.

After that morning he didn’t show, I spent weeks calling and texting him. Everytime he gave me the same robotic response;Quit trying, Adelaide. I’m no good for you. You’re meant for more.

That response isn’t my Porter. He was closing himself off.

He was lost to me. And he wasn’t coming back.

Except now he is.

Chapter Two

Porter

I am working at the auto shop on a minivan. The owner of the van, a mom of three, is blatantly flirting with me while her wedding ring is glaring at me from her left ring finger. As if I’d ever mess with anyone from work, let alone a married woman.

I look at my phone again, seeing a New Hampshire number calling me for the fourth time. Social Services most likely. My sister Maura has struggled with addiction since we were teens. My parents not any better, died of overdoses themselves years ago.

The police always call me when she’s found passed out in a crack house. I told them to stop calling me after a while, she wants nothing to do with me, and she won’t accept the help I have offered many times over the years since I left Lupine Valley.

I tried to get custody of my niece, but every time, Maura would pull it together long enough to keep her kid. It killed me to walk away, but I couldn’t keep paying lawyer’s fees when the judges were always in favor of the biological mom.

I battled with her in court for about five years. Of course, Kayla doesn’t know any of this. I’m sure Maura has told her that I just up and left them, playing the victim as she always does. She refused to let me have any visits with Kayla. She convinced the judge that I would attempt to kidnap her baby and bring her back to New York with me.

---