Page 5 of Everything I Desire

I keep in touch with Stacey Miller, the social worker on our case, occasionally. She keeps me updated on Kayla and last I heard Maura was still the same, constantly choosing drugs over her child. Just like our own parents.

When I was done with the woman’s minivan and her bill was settled, I pulled out my phone to listen to the voicemail.

Hi Porter, this is Stacey Miller, from Social Services in Lupine Valley. It is important that I speak with you as soon as possible. Please return my call at your earliest opportunity. Thank you.

Of course it was social services. What did Maura do now?

“Hey, Ed, I’m taking five. I gotta make a call.”

I hold my phone in the air and point. Ed can’t hear me over the heavy metal blasting through his earbuds. He is a fifty year old gearhead who took a chance on me when I ran from Lupine Valley at eighteen. He gave me a roof over my head, and a job. He and his family have become the family I didn’t have growing up.

Although, he’ll never let you say anything that might compliment him without a sarcastic comeback.

“Yea. Whatever, kid.” He waves me off, his way of saying I don’t need to ask.

I walk outside, the wind whipping at my back as I huddle into the small alcove at the back of the shop. Winter in upstate New York is not for the faint of heart.

I press the green call button, and brace myself. Every time I get these calls my heart stops before I’m given the news, I’m always so scared to hear that my sister finally killed herself with that poison like Mom and Dad.

“This is Stacey Miller,” she answers almost immediately.

“Hi Stacey, this is Porter Jackson. I’m returning your call.” I feel like an idiot announcing who I am, as if she doesn’t have my number saved, she definitely has it memorized from calling so many times over the years.

“Hi Porter. I’m sorry to have to make this call.” I rub my hand over my face, this is it.

“Your sister is missing. She left home about five, almost six days ago now, and we haven’t been able to locate her at any of her normal hangouts.”

I let out a long sigh. While this isn’t good news, at least she isn’t dead. I’ve been expecting that call since my Mom passed away. Mom and Maura were always close, doing drugs together, partying. Whenshe died, Maura spiraled even further into the dark abyss than she already was.

“What about Kayla?” I ask.

“Well that’s why I’m calling. She’ll need a guardian, or a family member to take custody of her while her mother is missing, or on a more permanent basis if things don’t improve.” Stacey sounds exasperated, no, irritated actually.

She’s been on my side at every court appearance, wanting Kayla to have a more stable environment. I went to school with Stacey, but her father is old Sheriff Miller. So I never stood a chance of getting custody between him and his best buddy, the judge.

“Of course, where is she now? I need to talk to my boss before I can head out, I could probably be there early tomorrow morning. But I need to know she’s safe for the night.”

“She is safe. She is actually spending the night with her homeroom teacher. They have a very close relationship. The teacher has been looking out for her for a little while. Kayla is happy with the decision for this evening, and I told her teacher I would be getting in touch with you.”

“Okay, thanks so much. I’ll call you tomorrow morning when I arrive in town, or I can just swing by your office.”

“Just come on by, that would be fine. Then we can go see what kind of shape the house is in.”

Once I end the call I let out a deep exhale. This is not going to be an easy journey.

I shove my hands in my pockets and head back into the shop to talk to Ed. Here’s hoping he’ll be just as understanding about an extended leave as he was about all the court dates in New Hampshire.

I can’t decide if I want to throw up or run again. The sight of my childhood home, well, trailer because let’s be honest no one ever made it a home, was more depressing than the last time I was here, and that was almost ten years ago when I grabbed everything my then girlfriend, Adelaide Harper, ever gave me and ran like a coward.

I open the door and walk in, it smells of urine, sweat, and who knows what else. It’s disgusting and should probably be condemned, but I know I’ll have to start cleaning just so we can stay here until Maura is found.

My phone rings, and it’s Stacey, “Hey Stacey, I just got to the house.”

“Hey, Porter, thanks for coming so quickly. I talked to Kayla after you left the office and she is pretending to be okay, but I know she’s struggling. Her teacher said that she did okay last night but she’s still worried about her.”

“Yea I’m sure she is. I’ll talk to her after school today. I’m going to look around the park for Maura in a little bit. I just needed to assess the situation here first. Have you been by here recently?” I ask,because there is no way they haven’t taken Kayla if they’ve seen the place.

“Unfortunately, yes. But you know your sister. She does the bare minimum to keep Kayla until we show up again.” Right. I do know that. I battled it for years. I tried to get Kayla and give her a better life. It killed me to leave her behind. She was five when I left, but I had no choice. As soon as Dad passed away, I started fighting for custody. But no one trusted a twenty-one year old kid who lived above a mechanic shop in a studio apartment. I tried again a few times over the years, and found out it didn’t matter what I did. I’d never get my niece.

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