Page 29 of Everything I Desire

She moves in closer to me, her hands rest on my biceps. I could just reach out and take everything I’ve wanted for the last ten years. But I won’t.Instead, I back away from her. Hurting her more by not giving in to my true feelings.

“I can’t, baby. I can’t keep you in this mess forever.” I say, turning and walking out the door.

“One day, Porter Jackson, you’ll see yourself as I do,” she says sadly after me as I close the door.

That soft click of the door hurts more than anything I’ve ever done.

Chapter Eleven

Adelaide

I haven’t spoken to Porter since that night in my kitchen. It kills me whenever I see him come and go from his house, but never to mine. It seems he's taking his vow to keep me out seriously this time.

He deserves so much out of life, but refuses to let himself have any of it, including me. I can’t force him to see it, I’ve tried. He needs to see it for himself. He needs to realize he deserves everything. I just don’t know how else I can show him that.

This feeling is just the same heartbreak from that night all over again, only this time I still have to see him. And hear about him.

I’ve been driving Kayla home everyday, and luckily we haven’t seen Maura, but she wastes no time in telling me how miserable Porter has been at home since the day we told her about her mother. She wants to know what happened, and I get it. She’s worried it’s about her own situation.

I have done all I can to assure her that it isn’t, while not overstepping into Porter’s business.

But I’m done avoiding him. Tonight after the dance all the kids are going to a party which means that Kayla won’t be home. I’m going to go over there and demand he listen to me. He can’t avoid me when there are no excuses around.

For now though, I need to plaster on a happy smile for my sisters, my mom, and most importantly, Kayla. She is coming over here to get ready with everyone doting on her, doing her hair and makeup for the Spring Fling.

The doorbell rings, pulling me from my thoughts. I put my own dress down on my bed and head downstairs to open the door.

On the other side, I find my sisters and Mom with Willow already on Facetime.

“I’m so glad you guys are here!” I hug each of them on their way in and blow a kiss to Willow. Mom hands me the phone so I can talk to her.

“Hey, you big Nashville star!” I say to the phone as I walk back up to my room while the rest of them prep the snacks for the day in my kitchen.

Willow sent me a video last night from her show at a local bar in Nashville. Her manager has been promising bigger and better things for years. While she’s scrounging up gigs and working three waitressing jobs to make rent, he’s living the high life in his mansion. She makes barely anything from the gigs she does book, and somehow he doesn’t seem to be struggling at all. Needless to say, I’m not a fan.

“Oh please, it was the same bar I always play at,” she says shyly. “But listen, I have something to tell you, are you alone?”

I close my bedroom door and flip the lock. “Now I am.”

“Addy, I’m so screwed,” Willow says, hanging her head.

“What? Why?” I ask.

“I was talking to another singer that was at the gig last night, one who doesn’t have my manager. Do you know how much she’s making from those gigs?” I can see the anger on her face so I know this isn’t going anywhere good. “A whole hell of a lot more than me! I asked the bar manager why the difference, and get this, he told me there is no difference!”

“What an asshole! I hope he had a good explanation for screwing you over,” I whisper shout.

“My manager is stealing my money,” She pauses. “That isn’t all, he’s doing. . . ” her voice drops. “Other shady shit.”

“Seriously? Willow, what is going on down there?” I exclaim.

She looks away from the phone and starts typing something, I assume on her computer. I squint at the phone, is that a tear running down her cheek? She never cries so whatever it is, it’s serious.

“I will, but I’m trying to gather all the evidence I can on it. He’s a powerful man in Nashville, Ade.” She blinks slowly, and then looks up at the ceiling, willing the tears to stay.

She turns back to face me, the tears still welling in her eyes. “Oh Willow. I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?”

“No. Just don’t tell anyone else. Especially Mom. I want to make sure I have this figured out before telling her. But I have to go, one of the other bar managers is calling me back.” She blows me a kiss and hangs up before I can answer, or question her more.

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