Page 28 of Everything I Desire

“Yup!” I’m trying to be happier so she doesn’t pick up on my nervousness.

“You know, Uncle Porter, you should just tell her how you feel. Then you wouldn’t be so nervous to go over for dinner. She likes you. A lot. I know.” Kayla bounces off up the stairs, leaving me with my own thoughts.

After talking to the Sheriff and to Ronnie, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about my relationship with Addy.

Could I be good enough for her? Am I good enough for her?

I won’t have the chance to get her father’s blessing.

He was an asshole to me for sure, but with all these insecure feelings I have, it would be nice to have a conversation with him. Closure, or his blessing? I’m not sure which I’d be looking for.

Kayla and I walk over to Addy’s house just before 6:00. I bring over a bottle of wine that I know she loves.

Kayla starts to just walk into Addy’s house, “Kayla! You need to knock! You can’t just walk into someone’s house.”

She pauses with the door open a crack. “What? She’s expecting us, no?”

Addy pulls open the door, laughing. “I am expecting you, but you should always knock.” She smiles at us. Addy is perfect at having both our backs. Who am I kidding, she’s just perfect.

Once we help Addy set the table and get dinner out, I am nervous about starting the conversation with Kayla. My hands fidget the whole meal, and I make too much small talk. My only solace is that Kayla thinks I’m acting like a bumbling idiot because I’m nervous about Addy.

Our dinner is almost over when Addy catches my eye and I shrug nervously. She discreetly points to herself, and I nod, knowing what she is asking.

She nods back. “Kayla, there is something that Porter and I need to tell you.”

Kayla places her fork down slowly and looks to me. “You found her didn’t you?”

“Well, I didn’t. The Sheriff called me yesterday and told me that he knows she is back in the park, trying to figure out how to get into the trailer.” I sigh. “Addy and I talked about you driving home with her after school for your safety.”

“You think she’s going to hurt me?” She looks nervously between Addy and I.

“No, no sweetheart, we don’t think she’ll hurt you. But we do think she might come by the school to try to find you. We wouldn’t want you to be confronted by her alone. We don’t know the state she’ll be in.” Addy again saves me.

“Oh. I don’t want to see her at all. I don’t want her to get me again. I don’t want to leave you, Uncle Porter. Can I please stay with you?” She pleads with me in a panic.

“I’m trying sweetie, I am. Ms. Stacey and I have put in the official paperwork. If it were up to meyou’d stay with me.” I pull her in for a hug, awkwardly because we’re both still seated at the table.

“Am I still allowed to hang out with Eric tonight?” Kayla asks.

I smile, “Of course. What are you guys doing?”

Once upon a time, when something bad happened, Addy was the first person I ran to. It would seem not much has changed.

“He is coming over to watch our show, if that’s okay?” she questions.

“Of course, you can go, I’ll help Addy clean up,” I say, almost immediately regretting my choice to be alone with Addy.

After Kayla leaves, Addy is at the sink washing dishes, and I’m clearing the table when she finally speaks to me.

“I think that went well. I’m glad you chose to not put up a fight about Eric.” She chuckles to herself. “I know how you feel about him.”

“I realize that I did the same thing with you.” I shrug.

“You did.” She shuts off the water and turns to face me while leaning on the counter.

I step in a little bit closer. “You were always there for me, baby. You still are. I -” pausing, because I don’t want to say what I’m about to, “- really appreciate everything.”

I can see the hurt flash across her face.

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