Page 45 of Never Wed an Outlaw

“Fuck me sideways. Guess I know why you're nosing around my dating life, Ma,” I said, hiding the smile pulling at my face. “Who the hell is he, and how hard do I have to kick his ass?”

She blushed, laughing, giving me a gentle push when I got next to her. “Please. You know just as well as I do I'm too old for any man except your father.”

“Yeah,” I said, the giddiness fading when I thought about my asshole old man. “I'll start the truck.”

She'd sacrificed her whole damned life looking after me, and that asshole who'd given me half my DNA, plus a whole lot of grief.

Much as I teased about her meeting somebody knew, I had a feeling she never would. Too bad.

Part of her died the day they lowered Early in the ground, dressed in full patches, his dagger laid out across his chest. One day, she'd be buried with him, and I'd shed a few tears over this senseless fuckin' tragedy we called our lives.

Tragedy? That what you're calling the cozy life I left her with?My old man's nasty voice growled at me from thepassenger seat.Fuck you, kid. I gave your Ma more than you ever will, even though I took some privileges when she wasn't lookin'.

I slapped the steering wheel and tightened my hands around it, soon as I climbed inside, before Ma joined me.No, Early, fuck you.

I wouldn't let his shit get to me today. Wouldn't even let Hannah's absence get me down. Ma was laughing, just like plenty more people would be soon. That meant a whole hell of a lot after everything the club went through lately.

I'd see my brothers hitched with a smile. Come heaven, hell, and everything in between. Even if I had to nail it to my fuckin' face.

Men roared.Happy couples kissed. Bingo howled, thumping his big grey tail on the grass for hours, overwhelmed with excitement.

We held the big bash on the land I owned a little ways outside town. It was a serene, wild place with the Smokies towering over us. History roamed deep in this soil. It'd been a place where regiments drilled during the Civil War. Didn't have to look hard to find my share of old bullets and cavalry gear wedged in the dirt.

Meg and Skin were electric like always. They laid their lives on the line for each other when they said their piece, and kissed like they wanted to wake the dead.

But Joker and his girl, Summer? Crazy motherfucker stole the damned show.

Almost had to let my pipe spill hot ash on my skin to believe what I was seeing. The most twisted brother in the club suddenly had it all, and then some. One big happy family with the wife, the kid, and the dog who hardly ever calmed down.

Brothers, family friends, and club associates milled around, digging into barbecue and slugging down booze. I went light on the Jack and pork, and lighter still on my usual lectures I gave everybody about the history rooted in this land. Paid my respects to my Veep and his beautiful bride before they took off for their honeymoon, leaving the rest of the party to go deep into the night.

Fires were lit. The last holdout fireflies appeared in the autumn night, burning bright as stars, before nature stamped them out for winter.

I sat by Ma, listening to her humming to herself, smoking my pipe. “Beautiful ceremony. Simply gorgeous,” she said, turning to me.

“Yeah, Ma. It really was. Never thought I'd see Joker ride off so happy. Glad I was wrong.”

“It'll be you someday, boy. Count on it.”

I cocked my head and snorted like always. Wouldn't show it, but for some fucked up reason, her fantasy words hit me deeper than before. Up 'til recently, I hadn't realized I wanted any of this shit, the woman, the kid, or the wedding.

Would that happen with Hannah, if things got serious enough? Was I ready to give it all up to make sure it did?

Who the fuck knew. I sure didn't, when I walked intothe night, stepping away from Ma and the crowd to give myself some time to think.

When I found a quiet corner, I pulled out my phone, searching for any new texts. Nothing.

Shit, that bothered me. Worse, I hated that it did, wasting the minutes when I should've been celebrating pining after the chick who'd been the hardest lay of my life. No, more than just a lay.

If it wasn't for her, I would've told a prospect to drive Ma home because I'd be going back to my place with a fresh bottle and brand new pussy on my bike.

Ain't that sweet. Yearnin' after your carefree bulllshit days.I looked up and saw Early's ghost leaning against a tree, a pipe uncomfortably like mine tucked into his beard.You know marriage don't have to change that shit, Dusty. You can have the wife, the kid, and all the pussy in the world on the side, long as you wear this patch like a man.

“Shut up,” I growled quietly, into the night, swiping my hand at a few fireflies blinking in my face.

Too bad preacher man didn't do exorcisms. Hell, maybe I needed a shrink.

'Course, I'd give up my gavel before I went there and confessed my sins to some quack.

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