Page 104 of Unfix Me

“You should’ve gone the football route,” my uncle Dale noted. “You were good, if I remember right.”

“You never came to any of my games.”

“Dad always sent videos to the family,” Mom informed me. “He was so proud.”

Was. If I was kissing boys back then, football wouldn’t have made up for it.

“My other friend, Brooks, is a pre-law student.”

“Oh, that’s interesting,” Samantha said with a smile. “I was a paralegal for a few years.”

“Well, he’s gonna be a real lawyer.”

My dad’s eyes narrowed. Grabbing my fork, I cut a large piece from the pie and stuffed it into my mouth. Blackberry was my favorite, so it was impossible to pretend that I hated it, even though I didn’t want to give them any sort of satisfaction.

“Brooks is bi,” I said suddenly, drawing wide eyed stares from around me. They said I couldn’t talk about me or Kai. I wasn’t technically breaking the rules.

“That’s…” Samantha trailed off. “Interesting.”

“He’s a really cool guy. You should meet him someday.”

“That’s enough,” Dad hissed.

“West is straight, but he’s not afraid to kiss a guy. I guess he’s just very confident that it doesn’t make him less of a man. He is the quarterback, after all. The parallels are there.”

Dad’s hand slammed on the table. “Seneca Taylor, that’s enough.”

His anger made my defiance recede back to its dark corner. My shoulders hunched as I continued eating the pie. It tasted bland now.

“You should try out for the football team,” Dale suggested.

I just shook my head, keeping my eyes down. My dad’s stare was suffocating and all I wanted to do was escape it.

“Grandma will be here in the morning,” Mom said cheerfully. “We’re all going to breakfast, so make sure you’re up and ready early.”

With a nod, I took my empty plate and got to my feet. I could feel everyone looking at me as I walked away.

For a second, I thought I could do it. I started preparing myself to stand up to my dad. I had a few moments of bravery before he squashed me. Now, I felt like a kicked dog and the idea of trying again made me want to go into my cocoon.

Until I left, I’d just keep my head down. Smile and nod, do the things he wanted me to. It wasn’t real anyway. I was playing a part just like any actor would and when I got back to school, all would be well again. It’d go back to normal- me, Kai, West, and Brooks.

And I’d still be hiding in public. It felt like I would never be free.

*****

Kai:Reason I love you #2: You always make me smile.

Leaving the bathroom, I clung to that message. It was the beacon keeping me on track. Its light wasn’t as bright as Kai’s when I was with him, but it would keep me afloat for now. I only had eight more days here.

Who knew eight could sound like such a huge number? It was worse because it was only my second day. If they all moved this slowly, I might have to force myself into a state of apathy.

I didn’t talk much at breakfast. My grandma tried to get things out of me, but I didn’t want to tell her anything. I didn’t want to share all of these pieces of my life with them if I had to cut Kai out. It was like showing someone a picture of a unicorn you found and only pointing out the background details.

After pouring myself a cup of coffee, I leaned back against the counter. Everybody was talking around the island and I just watched. Suddenly, I couldn’t remember what I used to do with my days when I was here. I felt like a stranger in my own home and I’d never been happier to feel out of place.

“Sen, I want you to meet us in the living room,” Dad said.

I blinked a few times, slowly processing his request. “Why?”

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