Page 44 of Silent Cravings

My heart skipped a beat when she found me, our eyes meeting for the briefest moment that somehow stretched out for eternity. I had heard people talk about the world standing still. Romantic comedy bullshit, or so I thought. Now, there I was, frozen in time, staring at her.

She broke the spell by looking away, continuing downthe aisle, and standing in place behind where the bride would make her vows.

Rose looked beautiful, stunning, but it was Valentina I couldn’t help glancing at as the bride strode toward us on her father’s arm. The warm, loving smile she wore went straight to my heart, making it swell to the point of pain. She loved so deeply, with all of her.

Now I understood I wanted that love for myself. Selfish? Absolutely. I had hurt her. I knew it, even if she wouldn’t admit it out loud. And I was a goddamn fool for running from that truth for so long. She deserved better than that. All these years, we might’ve been together, or maybe not, but possibly. There had been something between us, something real, no matter whether we were kids or not at the time.

It was easier to discount it back then, to pretend we were nothing. Compartmentalize what happened between us and shove all the memories back in a box, hidden in the depths of my mind. It meant being able to move on with my life, which, at the moment, didn’t seem all that important in the face of everything I had given up on when I gave up on us.

Would I ever have a chance to make it right?

The officiant stepped up to where Colton and Rose took each other’s hands. She smiled brilliantly, tears standing in her eyes. “Hi,” she whispered to Colton, who barely grunted a response. He was as bowled over by her as I was by Valentina.

What would it be like to be in his place now? If it was Valentina wearing that white dress and veil?

I was getting ahead of myself, not to mention missing my best friend’s wedding ceremony.

It didn’t matter how many times I told myself to focus. Valentina was all I could think about, along with the secondchance we might be able to take advantage of. I didn’t know if she wanted it. I didn’t know if I would be able to convince her to give me a shot. Lord knows she should steer clear of me, but I had to try. There had to be a way for us to leave the past behind and start again. No matter how challenging she was, no matter how crazy she made me, I would’ve preferred that to being bored to death by anybody else. She was what I wanted, what I would always want. And I’d been a damn fool for taking so damn long to figure it out.

I hope it’s not too late.

17

VALENTINA

While the guests mingled during cocktail hour, Rose stood at the entrance to the ballroom, one hand covering her chest. Her mouth hung wide open, her eyes as big as saucers, and she stared up at the ceiling to admire what half a dozen florist assistants had worked tirelessly to make it a reality. “Oh, my God!” She gasped.

“Do you like it?” I asked, gazing up at the lush floral garlands suspended from the ceiling, like a cascading vertical garden hanging over the head table and dance floor. It was beyond striking, even better than I had imagined it, and much more colorful and vibrant than the inspiration photos I’d shared with the team.

“It’s like something out of a fantasy! Like having my reception in some magical garden.” Her eyes shone when she turned to me, caught between laughing and crying. “It’s perfect!”

“That’s all I wanted for you, for everything to be perfect.”

She launched herself into my arms, and we laughed, hugging while pleasant chatter filtered through the closeddoor between us and the guests. I wanted to have this moment with her, to watch her reaction without anybody else around. She had not disappointed me.

“I can’t believe how beautiful everything is.” She turned in a circle, her arms extended to the sides, laughing. I had never seen her looking this joyful. “It’s perfect! No offense, but I had no idea you’d be able to pull this off so well.”

“None taken.” We headed back out to mingle, and when Bianca caught my eye, I gave her a thumbs-up. She blew out a sigh of relief, and I did the same before we both laughed. It was all a success. If only my personal life could be taken care of so easily.

I couldn’t spend the entire day ducking Evan, but I couldn’t resist the impulse to do it either. I didn’t have it in me to deal with him. It had been a long day after an even longer weekend, and all I wanted was to be able to enjoy it with my family and friends without thinking back on all of the sadness and pain. Just one day.

But then hehad to throw me those intense, soul-penetrating glances during the ceremony like he was auditioning for the role of ‘Most Intense Gaze’ in a romantic drama. A gaze so unnerving I had to ignore him for the rest of the ceremony just so I could get through it.

Why did he have to do this now?

Because you let him.It was my fault. I couldn’t pretend otherwise. If I hadn’t slept with him all these weeks, avoiding the elephant in the room in favor of screwing around, I wouldn’t have to avoid his pointed stare whenever we briefly crossed paths.

One good thing was that he seemed to be busy with something or other, with staff members approaching andasking questions that kept him away from me. He frowned before following one of them back to the kitchen, and as much as I didn’t want anything to go wrong, there was a very selfish part of me that was relieved to see his back as he walked away.

It wasn’t easy keeping my nose out of the business side of things, but Bianca handled things brilliantly. What a shame I couldn’t relax and enjoy myself, but then I hadn’t been able to relax since the night of the engagement party. Without the wedding ahead of me to focus my attention on, I wouldn’t have anything to distract me. Not at this level.

Then I thought,to hell with it.I grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing tray. I didn’t have to think about it now, and there was a party about to begin.

A party that lasted well into the night after feasting, drinking, toasting, and dancing. Lots of dancing, both inside and beneath the tent covering the second dance floor out on the lawn. More than a few girls walked with their heels in hand, all of them a little drunk, most of them escorted by men just as tipsy as they were. In other words, everybody was having a great time, and I couldn’t have been happier. The whole thing was such a success.

If only it hadn’t been for Aria coming my way, holding Evan’s hand, and practically dragging him behind her. “Would you please dance with this man before the night ends?” she asked, exasperated. “Neither of you have had a damn bit of fun today.”

“Who says?” Evan asked before trying to laugh it off. “I’m having a hell of a good time.”

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