Page 45 of Silent Cravings

“Sure. Helping out in the kitchen when one of the line cooks got hurt. That sounds like a great time.” She blew a strand of hair away from her face, a gesture which hinted at how tipsy she was. It was one of her telltale signs.

When I raised my brows, he shrugged. Now I understood why he was walking around without a jacket, his sleeves rolled up almost to his elbows. “These things happen. It wasn’t a line cook, though. I was only helping assemble plates and expediting service.”

“Stop. You sound so sexy when you talk that way.” Aria placed a hand against my lower back and pulled me closer before shoving us both toward the dance floor. “Dance, you two, before I slap you silly.”

If I didn’t know better, I would’ve sworn she was onto us. She couldn’t be, though, could she? I had bent over backward to keep her from finding out, both now and years ago.

Evan rocked back on his heels, nodding toward the dance floor. “One song won’t kill us,” he murmured, piercing me with one of those meaningful looks again. I would have to remember to thank my sister for putting me in this awkward position.

Lifting a shoulder, I grunted, “Sure.” It was fairly clear my lack of enthusiasm stung him, but it wasn’t my job to protect his ego. I was still hurting after last night and so many other things. I could only blame myself as we found an empty spot on the floor when he took me by the hand and pulled me close enough for the scent of him and the feel of him to weaken my resolve.

Not again.

Not this time.

I owed it to myself not to give in. I was a little stiff in his arms but I made it a point to smile like everything was fine. I had done a lot of that over the years. I could plaster on a Hollywood smile at will.

“Everything went off perfectly,” I observed instead of thinking about the feel of his strong hand wrapped aroundmine. “We made a good team. You’ll be bombarded with events after this.”

There was a trio of photographers around, plus an entire video team. Content would hit social media within a matter of days, and brides-to-be everywhere would drool over the lavish celebration.

He only grunted like he agreed. “Listen.” His voice was barely loud enough for me to hear over the music. “I know I fucked up. It was wrong of me to make assumptions last night or ever. I want to make it up to you.”

“You don’t have to make anything up to me.” How easily that rolled off my tongue. The opposite was true. There was a lot he owed me, but how could I blame him for not realizing it since I had never been honest?

Why was it so easy to look back now and see my mistakes so clearly? Where was all that brilliant insight years ago? Or, hell, months ago? Who did I think I was kidding, telling myself I could handle this when there were so many things left unsaid?

“I feel like I do,” he insisted. He lowered his head, making a shiver run through me when his breath touched my ear. “How about we go away for a little while? Just the two of us. It doesn’t have to be extravagant… only a way to take a break together. There’s so much I want to clear up with you. I would love to start again if you would only give me the chance.”

What the hell was I hearing?

More than that. How the hell was I supposed to keep my heart from exploding? My stupid, treacherous heart was determined to betray me again. Urging me to throw away the entire past and all of the betrayal and loneliness in favor of something shiny and new. A turd could be polished to hell and back, but that wouldn’t change the fact it was shit.

“Ladies and gentlemen.” Bianca’s smooth voice filled the air when the music faded. She was standing in front of the band, holding a microphone. “The new Mr. and Mrs. Colton Black would like to invite you out to the garden for the evening’s big finale.”

Evan and I stilled now that the music was over. There was a general hum of excitement around us as people started leaving the floor, getting up from their tables, and heading out to watch the fireworks scheduled a few minutes from now.

“What do you say?” he murmured, wearing a hopeful yet apprehensive smile. “Will you run away with me for a little while?”

I hated how much I wanted to. More than anything, I hated myself for being weak enough that his offer actually sounded good. I hated myself for wanting him the way I did. I hated him for making me want him when all he’d ever done was leave me hanging after he had his fun.

There was no hope of expressing all of that and so much more. Not here, not now. “I have to go,” I decided.

To hell with how it looked.

To hell with everything and everybody.

Who was I kidding, thinking I could handle this?

I would die if I didn’t get out. My chest was too tight to breathe, my heart pounding sickeningly. A cold sweat broke out over my skin as I made my way off the dance floor and across the ballroom, going against the flow of traffic. “Valentina. Wait.” All Evan’s soft urging did was make me move faster since it was him I needed to get away from.

The hotel.

I needed to get back to the hotel to get my things and go home, to lock myself away until the rest of the world left me the hell alone. That was all I wanted, to be left alone. It wasall too much, and I couldn’t witness another moment of happiness that would never be mine. Not without resenting the hell out of the people I loved.

“Valentina!” Evan caught up to me in the front courtyard, where I took deep breaths in a desperate attempt to loosen my chest while requesting an Uber rather than wait for the shuttle back to the hotel.

“I don’t want to see you right now.” I managed to get the words out without getting sick. My heart raced out of control, hard and fast enough to scare me a little. “I have to get back to the hotel. I feel sick.”

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