Page 3 of Absolute Devotion

“I fucking love it when you say my name, Ria. Yes, I introduced them and made sure she knew that Bear would keep her safe. It’s not perfect but I don’t trust anyone at the station to do it right. She didn’t mind his scent and he hasn’t said anything so I assume they’re okay.”

That’s an awful explanation but he’s blind where his brother is concerned—the apple of his eye, someone to look up to, his hero, and everything else. I can’t blame Xylo for it because Bear is notonly a decorated officer, but his skills have come in handy once or twice during this investigation.

A heavy sigh falls from my lips as the coffee maker dings, liquid pouring into the pot. “I’m going to check on her this afternoon. Something’s off and she didn’t respond to my text message yesterday.”

“You’re going to smother her.”

“No, I’m just worried.” It’s more than that, like some kind of connection between me and my Omega. Every emotion she feels tugs at my heartstrings. A whisper of her sweet lavender scent hangs around me, souring and darkening whenever her thoughts consume her. It makes it nearly impossible to focus on anything else and yet, we aren’t mated. The strength of this forming bond, though, can’t be denied.

I slip from Xylo’s hold so that I can ignore the tight expression on his face. Pouring a healthy serving of coffee does little to release the tension from the kitchen though. “You can feel her, can’t you?” Xylo finally asks. “Ria, you’re already bonded to her, aren’t you?”

My heart sinks into my stomach. Being apart from my Omega so soon after the bond is formed is killing a small part of me—even if my physical bite isn't on her body. I wrap my hands tightly around the porcelain, turning to meet his worried gaze. If there’s someone who won’t judge me, it’s Xylo. “All the fucking time. Every little emotion, the terror, the happiness, the nightmares. It’s physically painful and yet I can’t do anything. I was at the top of my fucking class in ranger school and have a 90% solve rate back in Grimsby but that meansnothingif I can’t help my own Omega.” Feeling helpless isn’t something I’m used to. When Xylo’s jaw twitches, his expression tightening, I see the truth. “You feel the bond, too.”

“I’m trying not to.”

I’m about to ask why when he runs a hand down his face, a heavy sigh falling from his lips.

“I can’t do rejection, Ria. Not again.”

I lower my mug to the counter and step up to him again, his scent thickening until my purr surfaces, trying to calm my mate. I press a kiss just over his heart where my bite is, “What do you mean ‘not again’?” We may have only been together for a few weeks but I thought something this heavy would have surfaced. “You were mated before?”

Xylo shakes his head, chewing on his bottom lip as he tries to find the right words. Several moments pass by as I study his expression, failing to grab the story before he spills it. “I’m saying that Nala isn’t the first Omega I’ve been attracted to. It was a long time ago but she wasn’t our scent match. Bear and I thought we were in love, were going to spend a forever with this woman and it imploded in our faces. Zahria, don’t look at me like that. It’s different with Nala. I crave her. I’m fucking obsessed, wanting to see that smile on her face again, to feel her happiness, to see her want to be with us. My brother’s even worse. Neither one of us will survive another heartbreak and that’s why I’m not getting my hopes up and leaning into this bond. I can’t do it.”

The torture in his brown eyes speaks volumes. It never occurred to me that what he experienced could be keeping him from pursuing Nala, just as it’s keeping her from accepting us. “Xylo, how come you didn’t say anything?”

“We had other priorities.” He shrugs as if it’s no big deal.

I reach up to press a hand to his chest, waiting for him to accept my touch. His shoulders relax, his body sagging against the counter as I lay another soft kiss over my bite. “You’re a priority too, Xylo. You will always be a priority. This won’t work if we pick and choose who is most important.”

Xylo pushes off the counter, shaking his head. “I want to see the world the way you do, Zahria. Fuck, it must be beautiful.”Then he heads back down the hall, leaving me alone with my fresh coffee and a bout of helplessness. We might break before we even start.

three

NALA

I’m running later than usual the next morning, my hair thrown up in a disheveled bun as I speed across the sidewalk to grab a ride from Ren. As the head counselor at Emsboro Elementary & Pre-K, he was able to set me up with a job at the front desk. The paperwork isn’t my dream but hanging with the little kids during recess and helping them pack up to go home is the highlight of my day.

A groan filters through my lips as my thoughts dart to Zahria, her beautiful hazel eyes filled with concern as they meet mine. Usually, I just brush it off but today, the memories of her rich magnolia scent wrapping around me has slick filling my panties. I changed three times this morning, unable to stop thinking about Zahria and Xylo before I finally caved and broke open the heat panties with a liner to keep me from soaking through my pants.

At this rate, though, I’m going to have to just sit my ass in a tub and leak down the drain because this shit is impractical.

Halfway through the door, Ren attacks me with a hug before Joel pushes him out of the way to do the same. Laughter explodes into the room as Kieran stalks in holding my nephews and I eagerly peel away with my hands out. Being here always brings a smile to my face as I curl up on the couch, one of my nephews now firmly tucked against my chest.

“There’s some blueberry pancakes on the table from the Pink Dome, Nala,” Ren shouts from the kitchen. As good as the fresh breakfast smells, I’m not hungry—a delightful addition to my already stressful heats. These few days every couple of months are moments I dread the most because it’s either spent with a stranger who I hope and pray won’t bond me or I’m curled up in a corner, trying to weather through the pain.

Not this time.

I just need to ask for Dr. Ashford’s number without raising suspicion. One look over at Kieran settled in the recliner, my other nephew, Leo, sprawled across the man’s chest and I know he already knows. “Your heat’s soon, isn’t it?” My nose turns up at the direction of the conversation. “Any thoughts as to what you’re going to do?” I try to avoid his piercing stare, knowing that Kieran or Joel will try to explain what happened when Kieran first fought against help.

My brother and the rest of this beautiful pack had been Kieran’s saving grace. They just don’t understand my predicament, though. They can’t smell me like the unmated Alphas can. “Probably sedation if Dr. Ashford will do it.”

Joel stiffens at my side but this ismychoice. It’s also the safest one. “You have three mates, Nala. Why would you not ask them for help?” He pats my knee and then squeezes, trying to offer me comfort but it doesn’t help. It just makes me anxious, knowing that there are people who want me to be theirs, to open up tothem, to give them everything that I am. Images of me between Bear and Xylo flit through my head, another gush of slick coating the liner between my thighs.

No one reacts; one of the many perks of these types of panties.

Carefully, I hand Elias to Joel and move to the kitchen to pick at a pancake. My stomach grumbles, demanding sustenance so I stuff it in my mouth, unable to enjoy the rush of blueberry juice on my tongue. I check the patch on my neck, ensuring that all four corners are firmly attached to my skin and covering my gland.

“Nala, they’re good people,” Joel pleads. I know they are. They’re the best people I’ve ever met aside from my brother and his pack but that’s the reason I refuse to give them a chance. I don’t want them to hate themselves later. I’m also selfish and I don’t want to hate the beautiful fantasies I have in my head. Once the patch comes off, everything always changes.

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