Page 4 of Absolute Devotion

The ride to work is silent, Ren trying to find words to say and failing. He’s the smaller Alpha of the pack, wide eyes and a face radiating a happiness I could only dream of feeling. He’s perfect with the kids and the parents, his demeanor closer to that of a Beta than an Alpha. The softness of his cinnamon scent makes it easy to find comfort in his presence, even if it reminds me of what I’ll never have.

God, I sound like a broken record.

I climb out of the car and settle into my seat at the front desk, waving and smiling at the parents as they usher their little ones in. There’s squeals and excitement as they bound into the classrooms, ready for a day of lessons with their favorite teachers. As the noise quiets down, I start sifting through the weekly reports and sectioning them for the parent meetings scheduled this afternoon.

Words of encouragement are typed up along the bottom from each teacher, a small smile taking me away from my reality.

Moxie has a talent for building. She’s created three of the largest structures this year. She’s a great listener and enjoys helping her fellow classmates sound out words during reading.

Harry spends most of his free time drawing and most of them are now hanging up around the classroom. He’ll be a great artist someday. I’ll have them packaged up for you at the end of the year.

Talia loves to help in class and makes sure that everyone is listening. She’s a great helper!

The simplicity of the encouragement tugs at my heart, my Omega preening for the same treatment. I spent enough time in bullshit Omega lessons and biology classes to know what is supposed to excite me and give me those fuzzy feelings inside. However, the few Alphas I knew before coming to Emsboro weren’t with me to make me feel better.

A familiar scent hits my nose and I peek over the counter, staring at the foreign presence. He absolutely should not be here but Bear is always somewhere close. I swallow nervously as he steps forward, head tilted as if gauging both my interest and my comfort level. His dirty blonde hair is pulled back into a bun much like mine, pale blue eyes observing my expression. I try not to react as my gaze dips to his lips, his rugged facial hair calling out to me to run my fingers through it.

He's larger than his brother, wide shoulders that seem to block out the rest of the world when he's around, and yet, his soft presence doesn't terrify me like the Alphas at the academy.

It's then that I catch the smell of hot chocolate beneath his wild cherry scent and my gaze dips lower to the mug in his hands. They’ve all figured out my favorite drink in the last two weeks and have yet to show up without one in their possession. I don’t know what it says about me that I completely melt when they bring me presents but I perk up a little as he continues to approach, setting the mug on the counter between us.

“Morning, angel,” he drawls, the honeyed tone of his voice deeper than usual. His nostrils flare but he makes no other move to reach for me.

I steal the cup and hide it in the nook before meeting his eyes. “Morning, Bear.” His entire face lights up with my name on his lips, the man reaching forward to stroke my cheek. I lean into the touch, his lips briefly brushing against mine in the next second. Startled, I pull back, eyes wide as they dart around the small space. “You can’t do that here!”

I slap a hand over the bandage on my neck, waiting for my body to react and then for Bear to lunge. He never has before, not during any of the other brief moments we’ve shared but I can’t be too careful. He tilts his head to the side again, his lips pursed together as his scent strengthens. I don’t know what that expression means but I’m not sure I like the way it makes my Omega feel.

We’re very… confused. “Are you mad at me?” I whisper, tears gathering in my eyes. The sudden change in emotion has me wringing my hands together in front of me, my scent going sour. Bear’s lip curls up into a snarl before the expression disappears and he rounds the desk, pulling me into his chest before I can blink.

“How anyone could be mad at you, angel, is beyond me.”

“But…”

“I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at the world that made you think you couldn’t enjoy the little things. I crave your smile, your laughter, the way your eyes dance when you drink your chocolate.” Bear is still holding me, his embrace perfect as I disappear in his arms. A rumbling sound runs through his chest, his purr lulling me into a comfort I so desperately need. When heat blooms in the pit of my belly, I scramble away from him.

Another second in this space and I’m going to suffer the consequences of my own actions.

“Nala, what’s wrong?”

Bear is reacting to my scent. I canseeit and yet, he’s still not trying to attack me and pin me to the floor. However, when he gently reaches for me, I can’t see anything other than the Alphas outside the cage at the academy. Horror bleeds through my expression as I dart around him and out the door, tears streaming down my cheeks. I hurriedly text Ren and then head straight for my apartment to lock myself away for the next several days.

Ren

What’s going on?

My phone rings in the next second as Ren starts asking questions. “Nala, what happened? Did Bear hurt you?”

“No, I just… call Dr. Ashford. I need to be sedated.Please.”

“Nala, it won’t work.”

“You don’t know that! Just call him. Please call him. I can’t do this.” Bear’s rough scent is with me, running away from a mate the absolute worst thing I could do. It isn’t his fault, just these damn nightmares plaguing everything good in my life. I stumble up the stairs of my building and through my door, tugging at my clothes, unable to stand the cloth on my skin a second longer. “Ren,please.”

“Nala, I’m not saying I won’t but sedation doesn’t work if the heat symptoms have already started. Your body will fight against the drugs that enter your system and possibly permanently damage your health. Just please think about giving them a chance, okay? I’ll call Dr. Ashford and let the administration know you need the day off. Stay safe, Nala.” Then he hangs up, his words sticking with me as I thrust myself into the shower and turn on the cold water.

Curled up under the covers in a large shirt, I find some relief when the silence of my room blocks everything else out. Without a nest, this is my safest space, a little cocoon where I can disappear from the world. It’s still missing something, though. A soft knock sounds on the door and I tuck myself in a little tighter. I have no idea where my phone is at this point but I’m sure Bear messaged Xylo and Zahria.

The thick scents filtering into my space tell me I’m right as the door slowly swings open. “Sweetheart, I just came to check that you’re okay. Bear was terrified when you took off on him this morning.”

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