Page 198 of One Big Little Secret

I look down.

I never meant to do this, but the words are boiling up, scalding my throat. I sigh.

“I know you don’t believe me when I say I’m bad luck. But look at us. Look at this. Look where Ilive. None of this would’ve happened if you’d just stayed away from me.”

“Don’t start that shit again.”

“I’m no good for you—no good for your family.”

“And you think that’s your decision?” he asks coldly.

“Isn’t it?” I fire back. “Your family is superkind, Patton. I… I’ve never had that. Probably for a reason.”

“Bull. Shit,” he spits both syllables. “You don’t get to make that call.”

“But it’s my choice. If I think it’s better we go our separate ways, well…” It’s so hard to swallow around the sadness lodged in my throat.

“Like hell.” He glares at me, burning away the warmth that usually sparks in his eyes when he looks at me. “Where the fuck are you right now, Salem Hopper? Where is this coming from? You can’t let one brutal mishap blow everything apart.”

“I’m thinking about the boating thing in the Ozarks,” I say. “I’d like to start over if… if Arlo seems well enough, that is.”

Patton freezes. Hurt sweeps across his face, wilting the anger so fast I almost miss it.

Big mistake.

I shouldn’t have spilled my guts like this. Not in the middle of an argument while my son is sick, especially when I’m not really sure about anything.

But my brain and my heart are scrambled eggs.

“This isn’t really about Arlo, is it?” His voice stabs me with an accusation I can’t deny.

I close my eyes.

“Is it, Salem?”

“I don’t know,” I whisper. “You’re just—look who you are, Patton. And I’mme.”

“For fuck’s sake.” He pushes up from the sofa, daggers in his eyes.

And I can’t be mad when I pushed him to this.

“Wait.” I reach for his arm, jumping up to follow him to the door. “Patton, wait.”

“For what? For you to realize I love you?”

Those three little words rip me in two.

Then he gives me a pained laugh that chills my soul.

“What’s the point of waiting for someone who’s so damn scared she won’t stop running from the past? To believe me when I tell her she isn’t cursed?” He pauses, shaking his head.“Let me go. I need to comb Mom’s house for that fucking plant, right down to every carpet fiber if I have to.”

“Patton.Patton!” The strength of my yell rips at my throat and I grab his arm, only for him to shake me off. “I didn’t mean it. I didn’t—” Except I did and he knows it.

It’s been on my mind for weeks, this half-baked backup plan forged from my own deepest fears. All because everything was too good to believe it could last.

He doesn’t slam the door.

He just turns, looks at me one last time, and gently shuts it in my face.

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