Page 94 of Why Not Now?

I park in Mom’s driveway behind Gina’s minivan, which she bought as soon as she found out she was pregnant, and gather the presents for my family, trying to shake off my weird feelings as I go inside and climb the stairs. I find some false cheer that my sisters and mom will almost certainly see through, but it’s the best I can do right now.

“What’s going on?” I call. “Has Santa been here or what?”

“Uncle Derek!”

I barely reach the top step when a pig-tailed five-year-old launches her tiny body at me. I catch my niece Nicole and lift her into my arms while I take the last step up and set the bag of presents aside.

“Santa brought me a puppy!” Nicki says, full of excitement.

My eyes shoot to my sister, Trish. “Did he?”

“A stuffed puppy,” Trish clarifies. “Miss Nicki really wants a puppy and Santa brought her a stuffed one with a letter that says if she helps Mommy with a few chores every day, Mommy and Daddy will get her a real one before next Christmas.”

I widen my eyes as I look back at Nicki, who squeals with delight and squeezes my neck in a hug.

“Did you get enough presents, then?” I ask her.

She immediately lets go of my neck and shakes her head.

“You need another one?”

She nods so hard her whole body wobbles.

I set her down and reach into my bag, handing her a box wrapped in green paper with red Santas all over it.

While she’s ripping the paper, I shake hands with Henry, hug Gina, and shake hands with her husband, Walter. By the time we’ve all said hello, Nicki is done and says, “I always wanted this!”

Trish looks over at the unicorn puzzle I’ve given her.

“She’s never seen that puzzle before.”

“Ah. But she’s always wanted it.” I shrug. “An uncle knows these things. I’m also going to take her, James, and Travis to the Aquarium in January.”

James toddles over when he hears his name and holds his chubby arms up to me. I scoop him up to a soundtrack of giggles.

“You’re taking all three of them?” Gina asks.

“If you don’t mind. I’ll have some help. Spencer and Lis want to come. I figure three adults to three kids is a good ratio.”

Gina snorts. “I saw them at your birthday. They’re going to have kids like tomorrow.”

I smile, knowing that he’s going to propose in about a week, but since it’s a secret, I don’t say anything about it.

We move further into the living room and Nicki immediately asks to open her puzzle, so she sits on the floor with her dad and they set out the pieces. I hand out other presents and get a few in return. Mom gives me a hug and a kiss and a new jacket. My sisters both give me a couple new books.

James and Travis need help opening their presents and when everyone has opened everything, we sit around watching the kids play and chatting.

Eventually, Trish asks, “So what’s going on with you and Ava? I can’t help but notice you didn’t bring her today.”

I drop my head back on the couch. “Fu—”

Gina clears her throat before I can finish the word.

“—udge,” I say, looking at her contritely. Then I turn to Trish. “Did you really have to ask that today?”

“Yes. She broke my baby brother’s heart and now she’s not here. Has she broken your heart again? Do I have to go claw her eyes out?”

I snort. “No. You don’t have to claw her eyes out.” I lift my head and look at my family. “We had a fight a few days ago. I’m going to fix it. I’m giving us each a bit of space first.”

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