Page 93 of Why Not Now?

“Did you tell anyone?” I blurt. “That we…” I can’t say the words. Saying it out loud to him will make it too real.

He meets my eyes again. “That we fought this morning?” I can hear the pain in his voice as he says it and it echoes in my own heart. “Yes. I told them.”

“But they’re all being so nice to me.”

His brow dips in confusion. “They’re nice people.”

“They’re your friends.”

He shakes his head slightly, clearly not understanding where I’m going with this.

“You could tell them anything and they’ll believe you.”

He sighs. “Why would you think I would do that?”

“I don’t know. I just… You could.”

He rubs a hand over his face, then runs his fingers back through his hair. “This was stupid,” he mutters.

I wonder what he’s referring to. This conversation, the fight this morning, or us trying again.

He drops his hands to the table. “You said you needed me to leave. So I did. You needed space. Fuck. I probably do, too.” He pins me with a look. “One week.”

I blink. “Excuse me?”

“That’s the space you get. One week. Then we’re going to talk about this. I’m not leaving. We are not broken up. I’m still yours. You’re still mine. I’m not ready to say this is over. I hope you’re not either.” He stands and says, “Have a good Christmas.”

I watch him walk out of the room, unable to tear my eyes away from his retreating back even after it’s disappeared around the corner.

“Ava?”

I blink to find Vic leaning against the door frame, watching me sit here like a complete fool, staring into space, my dinner getting cold in front of me as I play the conversation in my mind over and over.

“He told you?” I ask.

She crosses her arms over her chest. “He told us,” she confirms. “And as for your other fear, since I was completely eavesdropping, he also told us to treat you the same as before.”

“Why?”

She looks at me like she thinks this should be obvious. “Because he loves you. Anyway. I’m taking off. See you in January.”

I look at her in confusion.

“The next wedding?” she says. “Merry Christmas.”

Then she leaves. Like that’s all there is to it. Like it makes perfect sense that Derek is going to fight for this relationship.

I sit in the meeting room and eat the food that has gone stone cold. Not that I’m really tasting it, which is a shame since I know it would be delicious. I finish everything on the plate because I’ll need the energy to get through the rest of the night. I can do this. It’s not like I haven’t worked while completely torn apart by grief before.

I stand, taking a deep breath, and get back to it.

Chapter 31

Derek

Thenextdayismy family’s Christmas dinner. Trish and her husband, Henry, are going to Vancouver Island tomorrow to be with his family for Christmas Day. We switch back and forth each year, and this year, Trish and Gina will be spending the day with their in-laws. My friends have decided to come to my house for Christmas dinner since Spencer, Vic, and Adalie don’t really like their families and Lis’ sister is also going to the Island to visit her wife’s family. Mom is coming over for dinner as well since she’d be alone otherwise.

Of course, there’s someone missing from all these plans, and I remind myself that I intend to give her some space, let us both cool off a bit and get through the craziness that is the holidays before I sit her down and figure out what we need to do to make this work.

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