Page 13 of Why Not Now?

She gazes at Travis, whose eyes are closed, his breathing even. “I know.” Then she gives me a frank look. “Haveyoublocked the number?”

Trish changed her number a few years back so he can’t call her anymore, but Gina and I have held onto ours. I’m not sure why Gina has, but I’ve realized recently that I kept mine because I was waiting for a call that never came.

“No,” I say.

She reaches across the table, placing a hand on my arm. “You don’t need to let him in, Derek. Don’t feel guilty about that.”

I shake my head, not looking up from Travis’ sleeping face. “I don’t feel guilty. I guess I just think someone should keep a way to contact him, and I’m the one with the least going on.”

Gina leans back and snorts.

“Whose fault is that? Have you dated anyone new lately?”

“My love life has nothing to do with Dad.”

My sister crosses her arms over her chest, one eyebrow lifted. “You sure about that? Are you telling me his leaving has nothing to do with you moving from woman to woman without ever letting anyone in?”

“That’s right. It has to do with Ava.”

Gina’s mouth drops open. “You haven’t brought that name up in years,” she says.

I look back down at Travis, not wanting to see her face when I say this. “She’s working at Blue Vista.”

“Derek Alexander Moritz! I cannot believe you didn’t tell me this. How long has she been working there?”

I shake my head. “It’s not what you think. She’s a contractor. A sub-sub-contractor, actually. She works for that photographer I told you about. She helped with Daze and Sophie’s wedding in September and was there about a week and a half ago.”

“September?” she whisper-shouts in deference to her sleeping son. “You saw your ex-girlfriend in September and didn’t say anything to me? We’re supposed to be friends.”

I laugh. “It’s not a big deal. I’ve been over her for years now.”

“Liar. Must I remind you? You left her, Derek.”

“Because she told me to!” I say, quieting when Travis startles. “What was I supposed to do? Ignore her?”

“Did you try to fight for her?” Gina asks.

“I tried. For weeks, I tried. She kept pushing me away until finally she told me to leave. I haven’t changed my phone number in over ten years. She could have reached out at any time. She never did, Gina.”

“If you don’t regret how it ended, if you’reover her, why are you so worked up now?”

She has a point. I’m far more worked up than I should be. I don’t think I want Ava back as my girlfriend—just the idea causes my heart to race with anxiety. But some part of me desperately wants my best friend back. That’s what we’d been for so long, before everything blew up.

“Maybe you’re right,” I say, calming down and scrubbing a hand over my face. “Do people deserve a second chance?”

“Are you talking about Dad, Ava, or yourself?”

I glare at my sister, but she’s always been able to see right through me. I sigh. “I almost kissed her at that last wedding.”

“Do you want her back?” she asks gently, far more gently than I deserve.

“No. Maybe?” I groan, tipping my head up. “I want her in my life.”

“Tread carefully, Derek. I remember how it ended last time. You were wrecked.”

“I know, Gina.” I take a breath. “Is it wrong that I miss her?”

She smiles. “You guys were really close. I’m not surprised at all that you miss her. When are you going to see her next?”

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