Page 62 of Why Not Now?

I bite my lip, not sure why I’m having so much trouble walking away from him right now. When I do, he goes out to the front yard to shovel the snow and I go inside. I take a quick shower, tying my hair up since I don’t need to wash it. After, I put on a mint green sweater and dark wash jeans. I brush my hair out, leaving it down, letting it fall in soft waves around my shoulders. I’m not sure what we’re doing tonight, but I assume it has something to do with Derek’s birthday in a couple days, especially since, this morning, he’d told Spencer he’d see him tonight and last night Lis had said she’d see him as well.

Finally, I pick up a wrapped package, stuffing it in my over-sized purse and go to find Derek. He’s just putting the shovel away, having also done the back driveway.

“You work fast,” I say, standing by the car.

“Toss me the keys?”

I do, and he locks the shed again. Then he comes to me and traps me against the car, pressing his body against mine and kissing me deeply. I moan, melting against him. The thought flashes through my mind that if we don’t have to rush, my bedroom is right there, but he draws away after a minute and opens the door for me.

“What was that for?” I ask, dazed.

“Won’t be able to do it later.”

I blink, coming back to myself. “Why not?”

“You’ll see.” He winks and goes around to his side.

“I hope what I’m wearing is okay,” I say, sitting and doing up my seatbelt.

“You look great.”

“It’s the same thing I always wear in the cold months.”

“Hey,” he says, so I turn to face him. “You know I don’t care what you’re wearing. You’re beautiful in whatever you have on. Even that ugly yellow shirt from your work.”

I snort and roll my eyes. “Yeah right.”

“It’s true. Although, if I could keep you naked, that would be ideal.”

I laugh and he kisses me.

“I just don’t have any pretty clothes,” I say. “When we were younger, I had all these amazing things I could wear for any occasion. Now, I have this boring wardrobe.”

“You are not boring, Ava.”

He watches me for a moment, waiting to see if I’ll say anything else, but I don’t. I don’t feel boring with Derek. I feel interesting and more than just a woman who’s been running with blinders on for years. When I don’t say any more, he puts the car in reverse and backs out of my driveway.

I pick up his phone, but he stops me.

“No point. We’ll be there in a second.”

“Derek,” I say, warning in my voice.

He ignores me and turns a corner onto his mom’s street, pulling into her driveway where a few other cars are already parked. Justine Moritz’s house is Christmas personified. Especially with the rare December snow that fell last night, blanketing her lawn. Lights twinkle from where they’re strung around the eaves, each window, and the door. A pretty wreath hangs from the door and a cheerful Santa figure waves from the porch. In the window, a large Christmas tree shines with lights and tinsel.

It’s the way my house used to be at Christmas when my parents were alive.

“Ready?” Derek asks as he shuts the car off.

“No. I can’t—we can’t be spending the night with your mom.”

“Why not? Lacey’s already here.” He points to the other cars. “So is Trish, Gina, Adalie, Vic, Spencer, Lis, Sophie, and Daze.”

I whimper. “How did you think this was a good idea?”

He gets out of the car and comes around to open my door. “It’s my birthday party, Ava. I want to spend it with all the most important people in my life.” He pins me with a look. “All of them.”

That same feeling that filled me when he’d told me about the playlist lights me up like a Christmas tree. My chest aches and I want to lean into him, hold him close, and never let go.

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