Page 43 of Dreams of Ash and Smoke

I go to speak to him, but he cuts me off. “Good night, Verena.” Then escapes the room before a second more passes. It happens fast, too fast, and now I sit here wondering what just occurred.

How could I let that happen? Does he regret it? Do I?

He feels so good pressed against me, perfect even. He tastes like blackberry bourbon and the lingering flavor in my mouth alone makes me want to do crazy things.

He is intoxicating. And I can’t help but feel like I’ve known him my entire life. The birthmark on my side tingles and I hold my hand to it, trying to soothe the unnatural feeling.

I strip the dress off, wanting to sleep. But, even as I lay there, rest does not come to me.

I stare at the ceiling, thinking over and over about the feeling of him pressed to me, kissing me as if he was a starving man and I was the only thing in sight to devour.

My body tingles everywhere and it’s only when I finally see the sun creep up do I drift to sleep.

Chapter 21: Nightcrest

Verena

“Again.” Esmeray’s voice cuts through the blood pounding in my ears. My heart racing like never before as I come at her with the staff, swinging it with all my force.

I can’t help but continue thinking about the nightmare I had last night. This time, it wasn’t my recurring dream; it was Dryston.

“How dare you call me by name in front of guests! You know they will see that as a sign of weakness. It’s disrespectful!” His voice was raised as his body shook with rage. His skin glistening with sweat he built up from anger. It’s dark out and we’re in my room as he yells at me. “My father is looking at me like I can’t control you. How do you think that makes me look to my kingdom?” His hands grip my arms so hard they’re bruised. I am 16 years old, and like usual I called him by his name. But, without telling me, he’s decided to only be called Dryston by his immediate family until we marry. I’ve never seen him so angry at me.

“You will make it up to me, now, Verena. Get on your knees.”

The rest of that memory is still ingrained in my brain. The way he forcefully shoved me to the floor and bruised the inside of my mouth. He enjoyed the tears pouring down my face. It triggered something numb through me. Gave me a part of my brain where I could just shut everything off and go through those moments of punishment without even remembering half of them. A lot of my time in the Court of Dawn was spentin my own mind.

Esmeray and I spar back and forth for what feels like forever and then it happens, I swing around low, swiping her feet from under her and she falls on her back.

The air pauses, Hadeon leans away from the wall in surprise, Esmeray starts laughing, and I breathe heavily with my eyes wide.

It was a natural reflex and I am surprised at myself for being so quick. I stand, offering my hand to her. She grabs it after she stalls her laughter and I help pull her up. I see others who had been curious enough to watch the new girl spar with the eldest princess. Their small smiles and raised brows sent a surge of pride through me. My hip tingles and as I glance around the room, I see him then, Eryx, standing off to the side— almost hidden from view with his shadows billowing around him. His face was void of any emotion but I can feel the pride from him, see it in the way the light in his eyes gleam.

“Okay, Miss Verena.” Esmeray’s voice breaks me from my stare. “I think we’re done today. You’re a fast learner and you have learned so much already. Good job.” She walks off after patting my back and I turn to walk away, slamming into Eryx’s body that now stands right behind me.

“Sorry,” He starts, steadying me with his hands on my waist before jerking his hands away. My heart jolts, hurting inside my chest at his motion. He must regret our moment from two nights ago. “Today I was thinking you’d be available to go into Asterlayna with me. I would like to show you the town, see their reactions to my courting someone. We need their trust and I would like their approval.”

I refuse to look him in the eye but I nod, untying the wraps around my hands. “I would love that.” I want to speak to him about last night. I want to ask if he regrets it. Does he feel the same thing I feel? This odd connection between us? My body tingles with… something… every time he is near. Could it be the prophecy the witch spoke about?

I know I told him I’d love that and I would but it was a half truth. I was also terrified. What if they judge me harshly? I can only imagine that they all know of where I came from. Will they hate me? Does it matter? Ourdeal was that we’d get married and then I’d disappear after my revenge and neither of us would need to see each other again. But, was that what I truly wanted? It feels nice here. It feels like home.

No. No, I shouldn’t. It doesn’t matter how I feel or how he feels. It would make this entire deal messy and I do not want anymore messes. I don’t expect any happy ending other than my revenge on Dryston. I don’t even necessarily blame the court— I blame him and Mya and if they were all I got revenge on, I’d be content. Lianna didn’t deserve anything bad. She was in the dark about most things and she, too, feels as if something was wrong. She has never trusted her brother.

I will get my revenge on him and I will leave Eryx and his family alone. They don’t need any of my bad luck following them around.

The witch in the woods can’t possibly know anything. She’s just trying to stir up dramatics between us.

“I’ll go get ready for town.” I say, leaving his heavy gaze and escaping to my room.

After washing up and changing into a regular dress and slippers, I leave my hair down in waves and stare at myself in the mirror. My roots were coming in faster and at this point, I wish it’d just all change at once. It was getting distasteful with the color. Of course, the blue stays the exact same shade it has always been.

Pushing my nerves to the side, I meet up with Eryx, Hadeon, Ruelle, and Esmeray at the front entrance. Two carriages remain lined up, two footmen on each front and a footman on each back.

“Verena and I will share a carriage to show the townspeople we are courting. You three will reside in the second one as support.” Eryx’s voice left no room for disagreement and we follow suit. He motions for me to enter it before him and while I hadn’t wanted to, I did, holding his hand to keep me steady as I step into the carriage.

After we start riding, silence remains and he has yet to actually look at me.

I can’t handle the quiet.

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