Page 44 of Dreams of Ash and Smoke

“Why have you been avoiding me?” I ask him point blank, staring at hisprofile while he watches the window. This gets him to sigh and finally his dark eyes meet mine.

“I am sorry for any confusion but, Lady Verena, I have not been avoiding you.” A scoff leaves me before I can stop it at his diplomatic answer and I cross my arms over my chest. His eyes flicker down toward my breasts at the movement and something sparks within me.

No.No. I tamper it down. “I do not believe you.” His brows draw close together as his eyes narrow at me, all forms of stoic emotion fleeing him. Irritation leaks through his features and pride in myself flares, happy I can cause such a reaction. “We kissed.” I say, breaking the silence again.

“We did.” He confirms and I fight to keep my eye-rolling at bay.

“It was a mistake.” The words leave before I can talk myself out of it, wanting to see how he reacts. The irritation stays on his face. “We are business partners, not lovers and it should remain that way. There is already so much going on, we do not need a bigger mess by adding in… feelings or lust or whatever it is between us.” He continues staring so my mouth continues talking. “And as promised, I still plan to leave Khyrel whenever our business concludes. I appreciate all of your help but we should not kiss again.”

There’s a long pause. His calculating gaze remains on mine. It’s the way his eyes shine from the sun gleaming through the window to reveal the hint of caramel sprinkled in them, the way his shadows billow around him look as if they want to reach out and touch me— and I’d let them. I want to take back my words, eat them and never speak them again. My hip tingles aggressively as if upset with me. I don’t move.

And as soon as the carriage stops, he speaks. “Agreed.” And even after it was my words that were shared and agreed with, something in me despises his concordance. He moves to step out of the carriage as the door opens but still offers his hand to help me down even if it seems as if he’d rather be anywhere else and I can not begin to blame him.

* **

My fear of the people of Khyrel loathing me was far fetched. They seem so much more open minded and warmer than the people in the Capitol of Zorya. But, here in Asterlayna, people care.

Eryx and I stroll with our entourage trailing behind us, our steps in sync and our strides purposeful. I catch a glimpse of our reflection in a shop’s window and can’t help but smile at the fact that we look like a true family. I quickly avert my gaze, not wanting to get lost in that fantasy.

As we promenade down the vendor street, my senses were overwhelmed by the vibrant sights and scents surrounding me. From the colorful displays of food and jewelry to the variety of fabrics and indigenous beverages, everything was native to this country and it made my heart swell with pride. Despite having tried all the delicacies at the Court of Dawn, nothing compared to the flavors of Khyrel’s.

“Thank you,” Eryx’s smooth voice broke through my thoughts from behind me. I turn to face him, his body standing unnecessarily close and his scent of maple syrup and brown sugar mixing with the other fragrant aromas on the street. But his fragrance stands out above all else, as if it were the only thing my nose wanted to smell.

Eryx hands a gift box to Hadeon and Hadeon stows it away into a bag for easier carrying while he turns to me. “For you,” The king holds out a necklace that matches the one I had lost on my travels with Hadeon. My eyes follow from it to his eyes. “Hadeon said you had one from your mother but lost it during the fight at the tavern. I hope it’s similar. I know it’s not from your mother…” His deep voice trails off but I take it before he can retreat with it.

“I love it.” I rush out, “Thank you.” A blush rises to my face and I turn away, ushering him to latch it around my neck. As he does, his fingers brush my skin, eliciting bumps to appear across the expanse of my fair skin.

“You look just like your mother,” The shopkeeper says aloud and my face jerks in her direction.

“Excuse me?” I ask in a small voice.

“Sorry, my lady. I was just mentioning how much you look like your mother, Vaia, correct? She was so beautiful andkind. I am not surprised you are the same.” Her smile is genuine and while I can feel eyes on me, I can’t help but freeze in thought. She takes my hand in both of hers with the warmest smile imaginable as she introduced herself.

“Yes. Vaia was my mother. I knew she grew up here but I wasn’t aware that anyone would know of her.” I can feel the royal family’s presence straighten, unsure on what to do. Eryx has a stoic look on his face now but I see the confusion in his eyes.

“Oh! Vaia Nightcrest was apart of the Dusk Court families. Although she didn’t have your beautiful light hair. She had your eyes, though. Shame what happened to her but we’re glad you’re still with us. We all thought you died with her and your father.” It was like my world was spinning around. She wasn’t saying anything with carelessness but it’s all new information to me. My heart beats fast, struggling to keep up with my exceeded breaths.

“W-when did they die?” I ask her, needing to know if they were aware of my whereabouts.

“Twenty-two years ago.”

As I stare at her, black fades into my vision but I smile weakly, “Thank you for everything, excuse me.” I trip backwards before catching myself and stumbling through the crowd. Eryx and Hadeon both call my name in unison but I can’t stop moving.

I walk the streets, fighting myself while trying to remain a happy person on the outside as Khyrelians watch me, greeting me, judging me. I was used to this my entire life. Queenship. How would they feel knowing I have this darkness in me? My need for revenge might seem frugal to most but it fuels me without destroying me from the inside. A hard thing to have for most people.

My body aches and my breaths come in ragged gasps as I finally find an empty alleyway. I slide into its dark depths, grateful for the momentary respite. Behind a waste bin, I sink to the hard concrete ground, trying to steady my pounding heart.

These people, with their knowing gazes, knew my mother. They had seen her smile, heard her infectious laughter. She was loved here— wherever “here” was. It’s been twenty-two years since she’s been in her home. I wasjust two years old. But, unless I missed something important along the way, I am very much alive and they were too for at least another decade. My father and mother moved to Zorya together, but apparently she was part of this court? A High Fae. There are so many questions burning inside me that I wish I could ask her now. So many things left unsaid between us.

Why would they fake their deaths to leave?

Why didn’t she stay if she was a member of the court here? Did Calanthe know my mother? Is that why she won’t stop staring at me? Why does she hold back from saying what she truly wants to say to me?

The answers may lie within Calanthe herself, and I promise myself that once I make it back to the castle, I will demand them from her. For now, all I can do is catch my breath and try to piece together this mysterious puzzle of my mother’s past.

I feel a presence but as I look around, no one is there. I shake the thought, it’s probably a straggler from town.

“Verena,” A voice startles me from my crouched position on the ground. I look up, finding Eryx now staring at me with concern etched onto his features.

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