Page 21 of Whispered Southern Secrets

After a moment of comfortable silence as we eat, J.D. asks me about my life outside of Magnolia Grove. I’m completely honest in my answer. “I have no life outside of Magnolia Grove. My parents passed. I have a bit of a strained relationship at the moment with my so-called friends, and the church and town kind of let me down, so no. There’s currently no life outside of Magnolia Grove. For me anyway.”

I clear my throat and ask him about his life before he came back, eager to take the attention off me. His eyes are kind and filled with understanding as he pops a grape into his mouth. “Sure. Yeah, um, okay. I dropped out of high school as soon as I reached the age to join the military. I was ready to get away and break out of small-town life. Took my GED. Lucky for me, I’d always been pretty smart.”

“And humble,” I tease.

“Facts are facts. The Air Force isn’t an easy branch to get into. Got accepted. My parents were proud but also sad. I worked as a security guard on the base. Working the gates. Got into law enforcement. The local police have no jurisdiction on the base, so it was kind of cool getting into law. Learning weapons. Defense. I’d first just been eager to fly a plane.”

I laugh. “Then why didn’t you become a pilot instead of joining the military.”

“Have you ever watchedTop Gun? Do those look like the same planes commercial pilots fly?”

“Oops. Sorry.”

“But I was on the fence after working the gates and breaking up fights. I was actually pretty good at calming people down. You wouldn’t believe how many guys would get drunk and try to climb the fence. Which I feel is why I’m so good with chasing down any time we get a runner in the juvenile department. Plus, I worked as the volunteer DD on the base. I started doing that here. And I still load ‘em in the back of my truck. It only took cleaning puke out of my carpet to learn to put them in the truck bed.”

We both chuckle as I wrinkle my nose. He sighs and takes a moment to gather his thoughts.

“Mama has always believed I had a ‘calling.’” He uses air quotes. “She’s never waivered. When she had a stroke and I came back on a temporary leave, I made her a promise that I’d try it. I took some classes, got my sixty-credits, got a direct commission, and went on for a chaplain position. Started studying theology. Worked as a chaplain for a while and found it to be more rewarding than I could’ve imagined. Before I felt I was only preaching what Dad had told me, or I’d heard him say to comfort others, but then I started finding my own words. Scriptures that spoke to me. It was almost out of body experience. When my contract was up, instead of reenlisting, Icame to be with my parents. It’s been Mama’s dream to sing in church with me and see me stand up there.”

“And your dream?”

“That’s just it. I don’t think I ever had a dream. Except to maybe figure out who I am besides being Brother Johnny’s son.”

“And who are you?”

He smiles widely. “I’ve learned I’m Brother Johnny’s son.” He pops another grape into his mouth and looks off into the distance. “The apple didn’t fall far from the tree. Though I might be a little bit rotten, I am my father’s son. I just finally grew up enough to look at things differently. This town that I was so eager to get out of, I appreciate now, and I’m no longer running to get out of my father’s shadow. I’ll gladly walk in his shadow as long as that means I’m walking beside him.”

I pick at my sandwich as a deep longing settles in my chest. What must it be like to know who you are, where you want to live, and what you want to do? To have life’s most daunting question answered. I still wake up in the morning undecided on what kind of coffee I want. I’m mystified with my life. Wandering through each passing day completely confused, lost, and constantly getting disappointed by the people surrounding me. Except for my grandparents. It’s hard to have his faith when I feel my life has been one hellish ordeal.

I want to take a leap of faith. I want to have some sense of stability. To belong. I must be making a face because J.D. asks, “What are you thinking so hard about?”

“Life. What am I doing?”

“Well what are you hoping for?”

“I want to carve a place for myself in Magnolia Grove. My summers are my happiest memories. More than anything I want the kind of love story that makes Romeo and Juliet envious.”

J.D. makes the cutest frown that has my stomach doing a somersault. “Shouldn’t be too hard to do as long as you two don’tbecome star-crossed lovers from feuding families… I think it can be done. They didn’t exactly have a happily ever after.”

I roll my eyes. “Maybe not Romeo and Juliet. Bonnie and Clyde!”

He gives me a side-eye as he picks up with glass bottle of Coke. “I think I’m starting to see why you’re struggling in the romance department. These are all horrible examples.”

“Okay,” I laugh. “What’s your ideal couple example of romance?”

“Easy. My parents.”

That’s super sweet and has my insides turning into goo. “Oh, well if we can say people who are real, my grandparents. Not my parents. They were a hot mess, stayed together, but a hot mess. Definitely Mimi and Pepaw. Who is your fairy tale or classic romance story couple?”

J.D. tilts his head. “For the record, Bonnie and Clyde weren’t a fairy tale or a classic romance story.” I shrug and then he continues. “It’s a tie between Simba and Nala or…Fred and Wilma Flinstone. Lucy and Ricky. Beauty and the Beast. Any of the ones where they go on to live happily ever after and nobody dies at the end.”

“Simba loses his dad.”

“But not Nala,” he quickly states.

That’s a valid point. We spend the rest of the time eating our sandwiches and talking about anything and everything, except the question I know he’s wanting to ask.What happened with my marriage?Everyone wants to know that one. Including me.

I stareout of the truck window watching the sky transform into colors of pink, purple, orange, and deep blue. George Strait is singing a classic hymn on the radio, and I find myself singing along.

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