Page 74 of You Can't Hurt Me

“The thing is I’m pretty sure I believe you, everything you told me about your brother. I don’t think you were trying to protect him, I think you were genuinely scared. I found something clearing out her stuff just before I sold the house. I need to show you. If it’s true, you need to take care...” Cast in shadow, his features look angular, etched with anxiety. About me.

The beat of my heart rings in my ears.

“Nate...”

“We both know Eva was having an affair with Tony. He was with her that night. I know it all, Anna. And I think you know that too.” His phone rings. “It’s Priya. I have to get back. But can you meet me afterward?”

I hesitate. “Where?” I hear myself saying in spite of myself, lulled by his low insistent murmur. I hadn’t realized quite how much I missed that voice. Maybe he’s right after all. In the end it is our unconscious that gets to make the most important decisions.

“Back at mine in an hour?” he whispers. “You know the code for the keypad to get in, don’t you?”

“Yes, I think so,” I say vaguely, even though there’s no doubt in my mind. It’s 220484. Eva’s birthday.

I steady myself, inhale the chill air and watch him disappear, beyond the garden square, back toward the bookshop to meet Priya. I call an Uber and wait. My phone buzzes. Two texts. One from Nate. One from Tony. He’s been away traveling for the last few months after breaking up with Amira but now he’s back, circling, prying, up to his old tricks.

Nate: There’s vodka in the fridge and cigarettes in the usual place. I’m leaving shortly.

I smile into the darkness in spite of myself.

Tony: I know where you snuck off to, Anna. Watch out. It’s not safe.

My hand shakes as I press the keypad. I tap in the code, open the door and light sensors illuminate the dark paneled hallway in a sulfurous glow. I realize how much I’ve missed this house, like a theater set coming alive, purring its way to a final denouement. I’m not sure how safe I feel being alone with him, knowing what he could be capable of, but I’m willing to take that risk, to hear what he has to tell me. To finally find out the truth.

30

A sliver of new moon filters through the sweep of glass above me as I wander through the house. I walk into the kitchen, the last area to be packed away. Someone has started emptying the drawers, a disarray of plates, mugs and cutlery spill out across the surfaces.

I light a couple of tea lights out on the table and slip into the garden, my mind drifting back to the two memorable occasions I stood at precisely this spot with Nate. After he lost his temper during our interview and again on the night we slept with each other for the first and last time. Our sordid affair began and ended right here, both occasions sealed by the ritual of a final cigarette.

I gaze at the brooding outline of Eva’s studio, a shadow through the trees, the dark shimmer of the river beyond. The one space that eluded me in Algos House, that I never got to explore. Forbidden, desirable, risky. I know it will be locked...but still. I follow the gravel path to the bottom of the garden until I make it to the door.

Just as I reach for the door handle, two high-pitched electronic beeps split the silence. I freeze, disconcerted. The alarm is coming from the main house.

I run back up the path. Maybe I disabled the lock when I entered the code.

The sliding doors are still open and I walk in, my eyes adjusting to the darkness inside.

“Nate?” I call.

“Anna.”

The ceiling down-lights switch on automatically and suddenly I see him.

“Tony?” My voice rises in shock.

“Surprise,” he says from the doorway, swaying slightly. “Aren’t you pleased to see me?”

“You shouldn’t be here now. You have to go,” I say roughly and he makes an exaggerated frown.

“I’ve only come to say goodbye.”

“How did you know I—?”

“Amira,” he says, pushing me aside. His eyes have a bright, febrile quality as he glances around the hallway. “I called her, told her I needed to see you before I left. She told me about the book launch, where you’d be. I guessed the rest. It’s pretty obvious where you two would meet for your final farewell.”

We hover in the kitchen area, facing each other across the marble island. He stares indifferently at the rubble of mess on the surface, contents from the kitchen drawers waiting to be packed up. He sees the glass doors open into the garden, Eva’s studio illuminated by the outdoor lights I’ve left on. He catches my eye.

“You want to go inside, don’t you?” His voice is husky, insinuating. “Course you do. Come on.”

---