Page 60 of You Can't Hurt Me

Quickly I sit back down again, save it onto a new Google document so we can both work on it remotely over the next two weeks. I copy it to my own email address, just in case, and press Send while Nate checks his phone. He glances across at me, his expression lightens. There’s a brightness in his eyes and somehow he looks years younger.

“Come on,” he says. “I reckon this deserves a celebration, don’t you?”

23

The riverside pub at the end of the road is dark, low-beamed, the print-lined walls are mottled brown with age. I choose a corner table and Nate comes back with a bottle of red. He smiles as he sits down opposite me, sloshing the wine into two oversized glasses and handing one to me. “To the book,” he says and we clink glasses.

“Look, Nate, I—” I stall, watch him distracted by his own thoughts.

“I need to say something first.” He leans forward, palms outstretched on the small table. “I’m sorry about last week, the way it all happened. Sending you the text, everything, it wasn’t fair on you. You were absolutely right to walk away. I was an idiot.” He shakes his head, falls silent. Always on cue with an apology.

“So you’re going to New York next month, aren’t you?” I ask, neutrally. He opens his mouth but I carry on. “Nate, it’s fine. It’s an amazing opportunity. You said you needed a change in your life and this is—”

“Wait, Anna, stop. Whatever Priya probably said, it’s not what you think. I haven’t made up my mind yet. Not completely. There’s a book tour opportunity and a three-month tenure at Columbia. Nothing is finalized.” He looks at me, frowning in concentration. “Seriously, I wanted to talk to you about all this first. It’s not fine. It all depends on—”

“Priya?” I suggest.

“Priya? What makes you say that?”

“You’re really asking?”

He sighs. “Anna, she’s my editor.”

“Well, you should know something else,” I say, and he looks back at me warily. “I visited Kath last week, after that evening at the Rosen. She wanted to see me and...I agreed.”

“I see. And?”

“She wasn’t happy. In fact, she’s furious with you. She said Jade had shown her parts of the book. I think she took some chapters from the printer.”

I watch his face cloud over and decide to mention nothing I learned of the affair, Nate’s lies about Priya and Eva. “Kath’s in touch with her lawyer about it. Reckons it’s a fabrication, that she doesn’t recognize her sister at all.”

“I’m not sure she ever did.” He lets out a small dismissive laugh. “She’s just throwing her weight around because she feels ignored. There’s no legal issue, I’ve spoken to Priya about it.”

“I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss her, Nate. You should know something else.”

“Really?”

“The cocaine they found, the toxicology report on it. She had it reevaluated. They think it may have been cut with another substance.”

“That doesn’t surprise me. Street cocaine is cut with all sorts of stuff, talcum powder, laxatives, caffeine, you name it.”

“Fentanyl,” I say slowly, holding his gaze, my heart pounds in my ears. I can’t help myself. Every cell in me needs to know, to witness his reaction, to make up my own mind. His eyes darken but he doesn’t blink, doesn’t miss a beat.

“You know about my prescription you saw in the bathroom that day. It’s not as if I tried to dispose of them. I told you about my slipped disc, excruciating pain for six weeks. What? You think I tampered with some cocaine, who do you take me for?” He looks at me, indignant, defiant. “It would be an insane move, especially if I casually left my medication lying around for anyone nosy enough to look.”

I nod, the inner critic silenced, for now.

“I’d be better at covering my tracks, believe me.” Nate moves his hand toward mine across the table. His defensiveness has thawed slightly, and now his eyes are almost pleading. “Anna, whatever Kath told you, remember she has an agenda too. I know what she’s like, it’s in her interest to turn you against me.”

“But why?” I say. “Why would she do that?”

“Because she needs someone to blame it all on, to point her finger at, toother. And that person is me. I understand that, I get it.”

“She’s convinced, Nate, that’s why Jade left—she wanted her out of there, away fromyou.”

He laughs, incredulous.

“I pushed for a second inquest to support Kath, I still do. Why would I do that if I was hiding something?”

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