Page 34 of The Wrong Drive

I’m not angry at him for what happened. He was one of the best in his unit. Don’t ever let his mental illness overshadow his bravery for the duration of his enlistment. I did everything I could for a medical discharge, but unfortunately, it didn’t come to pass. Just don’t forget he saved eight men. They have not forgotten him.

He suffered a great loss with Taylor passing and you all’s parents a month later in the accident a little over two years ago. I believe he stuck it out and served for another year after, because he thought going through the motions would fix him—but I think it only prolonged the buildup and then the break.

But it’s just a theory, Thomas. I don’t know if that’s what’s going on. I just know, no one should lose their parents and brother in a month span. I wish every day the car accident wouldn’t have happened. I’m so incredibly sorry for you and Turner’s losses. Don’t give up on him but please keep your safety in mind.

Give him my regards. He has my phone number. If he wants my help, call me. He hasn’t responded to anything I’ve sent himthus far. I know he is in a dark place. I hope he finds his way out someday.

Bradford

I blink away the tears as I set the letter back down on the desk, my heart aching with sympathy. Turner killed Adam, but for fuck’s sake, how much can one man go through? I then begin to open drawers, finding mostly irrelevant papers, other than some still full prescriptions issued by psychiatrists. When I finally make it to the final drawer, I find a journal. I flip it open, seeing Thomas’s name.

It starts August 1st2011, and I start flipping through it, noting that Thomas is working on the cabin, planning a hunting trip for him, his father, Turner, and their brother, Taylor, when they’re home later that year. I take a seat in the floor, sitting cross legged as I keep reading, stopping on the ones that mention Turner.

September 1, 2011

Turner and Taylor were deployed on a mission. No idea where they went. Praying for their safe return.

September 28, 2011

Still haven’t heard from Turner or Taylor. I have a bad feeling in my gut. Pops called, wanting to know if I’d heard from him. I told him no but didn’t express my worry.

October 5, 2011

Turner said their mission was supposed to last a few weeks. It’s been a month. Still trying not to worry.

October 15, 2011

Finally heard from Turner. Taylor was killed three days ago. No details. I can’t believe it. Turner will be home in a few days.

October 18, 2011

I picked up Turner today. Something isn’t right. He’s not himself. He’s torn up over Taylor. They were in combat,providing rescue aid. He said, ‘they got into bad shit.’ That’s all I know. His commanding officer said he is being nominated for a medal of honor. Turner doesn’t appear to care. I’m worried about him, but I know he’s grieving.

October 20, 2011

Turner, Pops, and I went out to the range today. It didn’t go well. Turner seemed to have some kind of flashback. Pops talked him out of it. He goes back in a couple of weeks. I hope he gets some help.

October 25, 2011

Taylor’s services were today. Turner handled it better than I expected. I miss my brother, but I’m thankful Turner made it back.

October 27, 2011

I can’t believe I’m writing this. Mom and Pops are gone. This might be the worst day of my life. Turner is so sick. He needs help. He was at the store and had another flashback. He barricaded himself in the bathroom. Mom and Pops were on their way to help him when a fucking box truck ran a red light. I couldn’t be in two places at once. I left the Marines to retrieve Turner. They said he’ll get the help he needs. I am glad I got to say goodbye to Mom and Pops at the hospital. They said not to be mad at Turner. I’m not. I swear I’m not. But fuck, I’m trying so hard not to hate him.

I pause from reading, my stomach sick and heart breaking. I use my sleeve to dab away the tears as I continue. The mentions of Turner fade for next year, only stating that he’s getting help and staying in the service. The two aren’t talking at that point. It’s not until late 2012 they start again.

December 14, 2012

Turner was awarded the medal of honor tonight. Proud of him. But he didn’t look good. I should talk to him more.

December 20, 2012

I had to pick up Turner today. He is being discharged. He is still sick. I don’t think they fixed him. He brutally attacked his commanding officer. Somehow, they’ve managed not to press charges. I don’t understand, but I got him and brought him to the cabin. We’re all we have. I feel guilty. I wasn’t there for him. I’ll be there for him now. I swear.

January 18, 2013

He doesn’t sleep. He paces. He shouts. He’s messed up in the head. I’m too tired to even write about him. I’m doing everything I can. I swear. I’m taking him to all the specialists. I don’t know what else to do.

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