Page 51 of Christmas With My Ex

Nicky’s racing through the living room, making airplane noises as he zooms around with a toy in his hand. The last time I was here, Nicky was just a baby, and everything was so different.

I felt like I was competing for his father’s attention, like there wasn’t enough of him to go around. But now, watching him laugh and play with Nicky, I could sit and watch them interact all night.

I lean back into the couch, feeling an odd sense of contentment wash over me. Sammy didn’t end up spending the night, which was fine. I'm grateful to have some more one-on-one time with Nicky.

He plops down in front of the television to watch a cartoon.

Nicholas sits down next to me and pulls out his phone to flip through his pictures from today. “I snapped a few earlier at The Muse,” he says, grinning. “Want to look through them with me?”

I nod, scooting closer to him as he scrolls through the photos. They’re mostly of the boys, laughing, running around, building airplanes. Each picture brings a new smile to my face.

Then, he stops on one. A photo of the three of us—me, Sammy, and Nicky. It was taken when we were all standing near one of the exhibits, Sammy leaning close to me with a big grin on his face. Nicholas zooms in, focusing on Sammy’s face next to mine.

I glance over at him, a small smile tugging at the corner of my mouth. “What’s up?”

He doesn’t answer right away, just keeps staring at the picture. His brow furrows, and then he looks at me, his expression shifting to something I can’t quite read.

“Do you see what I’m seeing?” he asks softly, his voice almost tentative.

I frown, leaning closer to look at the picture again. It’s just a photo of the three of us, isn’t it?

Nicholas zooms in even more, this time focusing on Sammy’s face next to mine, his eyes darting between the two of us.

“Rives,” he says quietly, his voice careful. “Do you think Sammy resembles you?”

For a second, I don’t know how to respond. I blink, my gaze shifting back to the photo, then back to Nicholas. “What?”

He hands me the phone, the picture still enlarged on the screen. My breath catches in my throat as I take a closer look. Sammy’s eyes, the shape of his nose, the curve of his smile...

It’s not just that he looks like Helena, which means he resembles Nicholas. He looks like... me.

My heart pounds in my chest, my mind racing. “I—I don’t know...” I stammer, handing the phone back to him, suddenly feeling light-headed. “Maybe?”

But even as the words leave my mouth, I know there’s something more to this. Something I hadn’t let myself consider before now.

Nicholas glances at the picture one more time before lowering the phone, his gaze locking on mine. “There’s something about him, Rives. Something... familiar.”

I don’t know what to say. My mind is spinning, but I can’t seem to form a coherent thought. It’s impossible, isn’t it? Right?! How could Sammy?—

No.

No, it can’t be? It’s just a coincidence. That’s all it is.

But the look in Nicholas’ eyes tells me he’s thinking the same thing I am. And suddenly, everything feels like it’s teetering onthe edge of something I’m not sure I have the capacity to fully understand.

Nicky is gluedto the TV, his little body sprawled across the floor as he watches the cartoon, blissfully unaware of the storm brewing inside me.

A strange, uneasy quiet settles over the room. My mind is racing, but I’m not sure what to do. Something about the way Nicholas is sitting, his posture tense, his silence is unsettling.

I turn to him, waiting for him to speak, but he looks lost in thought, like he’s piecing something together in his head.

Finally, he breaks the silence. “Rives,” he says softly, his eyes locking onto mine. “What was the exact date you had the baby?”

The question catches me off guard. What does that have to do with anything? My stomach tightens. “What are you asking?”

“Please,” he says again, his voice almost pleading. “Just tell me.”

I hesitate, my mind darting back to that moment—the day that is etched in my mind forever. “October 15th, 2019.”

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