Page 40 of Christmas With My Ex

“Yeah,” I nod, my voice quieter now. “It sucks, losing people we love. You know, your sister went far to soon. Loss is so hard.”

I force a smile, but the weight of those memories presses down on me. And then the secret pops into my head again—truth be told it’s never that far from my mind these days—, inextricably tied to my mom's death as it is. The pregnancy. The secret I've kept from him.

In this moment, the guilt rushes in, harder and faster than I expect. I gave Nicholas a hard time earlier about not being honest with me, but here I am, sitting on this massive secret that I’ve kept for years.

It feels like a weight, something I can’t shake, but tonight isn’t the time to unload it.

I glance up at him, and his eyes are still on me, filled with concern. He must've noticed the shift in my mood, of course, because that’s who Nicholas is. He’s always been the type to pick up on things, even if I’m trying to hide them.

“You okay?” he asks, his voice gentle but probing.

I nod quickly, forcing the lightness back into my tone. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. It’s just the holidays and thinking about Mom, you know? Makes everything a little more emotional.”

He smiles, but I can see that he’s still watching me carefully, like he knows I’m holding something back. But he doesn’t push, and I’m grateful for that.

“Well, we can’t get all over-emotional on Christmas Eve,” he says, picking up his drink. “That’s against the rules, right?”

I laugh, feeling the tension ease. “Absolutely. Christmas is for fun and food. Let's turn this party up.”

We fall back into our easy banter, the warmth between us building again as we joke. That's where we go, how our dynamic works so well. It’s light, it’s fun, and for a while, I can forget about everything else.

7:39pm

The warmthfrom the restaurant still lingers as we step out into the hotel’s softly lit halls. Dinner was nice—better than I expected, honestly. It’s like some of the tension that’s been between us has melted away, leaving the ease of being together. Whatever this is between me and Nicholas, it feels good.

I glance over at him, smiling as we walk slowly down the hall. He looks exceptional tonight. I can’t help but notice how easily we’ve fallen back into this rhythm, teasing and laughing like no time has passed.

“So,” he says, his voice cutting through my thoughts. “What do you want to do now? The night is young and you look too damn good to go back to your room.”

I think for a second before I grin. “Honestly? I’d love to sit in front of that big fireplace in the lobby, have a glass of wine, and just enjoy each other. It's been such a crazy day, the quiet and relaxation sounds perfect.”

He nods, smiling. “Couldn’t agree more.”

When we get to the lobby, the fireplace is just as inviting as I imagined. It's a massive stone hearth with a roaring fire that burns hot, glowing brightly. It casts a wide net of warmth into the room.

Plush chairs and sofas are gathered around it, and even though there are a few people nearby, there’s this quiet, intimate feel to the space. It’s perfect.

“This spot taken?” Nicholas teases, nodding toward a love seat near the fire.

I laugh softly. “I think we can claim it.”

"You need to put your foot up. You okay with me moving it so you can use the hearth as a prop?"

"You're so thoughtful. That sounds perfect."

"Always a doctor, even when I'm not at work."

He pulls it closer to the fire and we settle in. I prop my leg up, grateful for the chance to relax. The warmth from the fire seeps into my skin, and I feel a sense of calm wash over me that I haven't felt for a very long time.

“This is perfection,” I murmur, half to myself.

Nicholas looks over at me, his brown eyes catching the glow of the firelight. I must be a little tipsy, or maybe it’s the heat from the fire, but looking at him, I feel like I could completely eat him up.

“Yeah,” he agrees, his voice low. “It is.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt so laid back on Christmas Eve,” I admit, tilting my head back to let the warmth from the fire sink in. "It's usually so busy and hectic, everyone pulling me in one direction or another. This traveling for Christmas might have to become a thing."

Nicholas chuckles, shaking his head. “Probably because you’re usually chasing adventure.”

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