Page 16 of Christmas With My Ex

The silence between us grows thicker. We both know that we’ve been dancing around our reality, our past, since the moment we ran into each other again. There’s too much history, too much unresolved bad blood. And now, being here, alone, with no one else nor responsibilities to mitigate our primal desires, it’s scary as hell.

Why can't it be more simple? A hook-up. They happen every day. A meaningless fuck.

But it will never be meaningless with us, not with our history.

Her gaze flickers to mine, and for a moment, I can see the battle she’s fighting with herself because I have the same forces inside me.

She takes a small step toward me, closing the space between us once again. My heart pounds, my body reacting before my brain can catch up. I put my hand on her waist.

“Perhaps we throw caution to the wind this once," she murmurs, her voice low. She stays close and doesn’t move away.

“I think worse decisions could be made," I agree, my voice rougher than I intended.

She reaches out, her fingers brushing against my chest, tentative at first, but then bolder, as if testing the waters. My hand comes up to meet hers, catching her wrist, holding it there, feeling the pulse beneath her skin. Fast. Unsteady, just like mine.

The moment hangs between us, stretched tight. One word, one move, and it could all fall apart. Or explode.

Before I can stop myself, I’m pulling her closer, my hand slipping around her low back, drawing her body flush against mine. She doesn’t resist, instead, she leans into me, pressing her middle to mine.

Her breath hitches, her lips parting as she looks up at me. "Nick..."

It’s been five years. Five long years, but the pull between us is still there, burning just as hot as before. Maybe even more now, because we both know this shouldn’t happen. We’re not supposed to be here, doing this, feeling this.

Fate seems to have other plans, and I can’t stop myself. Neither can she, it appears.

I tilt my head, my lips brushing hers in the softest, lightest kiss, testing the waters to go further. She sighs into me, her fingers curling into my shirt, pulling me closer. That’s all it takes.

The kiss deepens, her lips parting beneath mine, and the floodgates open. The tension, the heat, it all pours out in that one moment, years of frustration and longing crashing between us like a tidal wave. I’ve wanted to feel her again for so long, more than I ever let myself admit, and now that she’s here in my arms, I don’t know how to react.

Her hands are everywhere, my chest, my neck, threading into my hair, and I’m lost in her. The taste of her, the silkiness of her skin beneath my fingertips. My rational mind screams at me that this is a bad idea, that we’ll both regret this in the morning, but my body isn’t listening.

I pick her up and carry her to the bed. She looks up at me, her breathing fast, her lips swollen from the kiss, and in thatmoment, I can see it—the same conflict that’s raging inside me is written all over her face.

"We shouldn’t..." she whispers, but even as she says it, her hands tug me closer.

"I know," I whisper back, my forehead resting against hers. "But I don’t want to stop.”

“Then don’t. I’m on the pill, and I want you inside of me.”

We both know this won’t fix anything, that we’ll wake up tomorrow with more questions than answers. But right now, none of that matters. Right now, it’s just us—two people who never got closure, who never really let go.

I kiss her again, deeper this time, and the world falls away.

SEVEN

Rives

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus / Underneath the mistletoe last night.

8:01 pm

Nicholas’hands are on me before the echo fades, a familiarity that sets my skin alight with a fire I thought I'd extinguished years ago. It's a conflagration now, feeding on the years of absence, the months of passion that simmered just under the surface, now boiling over.

Nicholas's mouth finds mine with an urgency that steals my breath, and I'm back in the whirlwind, the eye of the storm where it's just us, the world spinning madly on outside this room. My back hits the wall, the coldness of it a stark contrast to the inferno of his body against mine.

"Missed you, Rives," he growls, his voice a low rasp that sends shivers down my spine.

"Show me," I challenge, my hands already tearing at his jacket, our breaths mingling in rapid, heated pants.

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