Page 58 of Exposed

“Your parents didn’t recognize how amazing you are, but I do, Pep,” he says softly, and I start crying.

“Why do you tell me stuff like that?” I sniff. I’ve always wanted it, but I’ve never had anyone talk to me this way.

“Because you are amazing. Your family was wrong to lead you to believe otherwise. Whatever they said to you was a lie,” he says with such conviction, something in me snaps. I’ve never told anyone about my family. I tried my best to forget about them when I moved away.

But apparently, him milking orgasms from me also has me feeling safe to be open. “My parents didn’t like me. I was constantly daydreaming, and they said dreamers amount to nothing.”

“With the reality you lived in, I can see why you would want to escape to a dream world,” I offer.

“When I was five and my sister was 11, she fell out of a tree and broke her arm. My parents weren’t home. They were hardly ever home. They didn’t have a phone, and I didn’t know where they were. I ran to our apartment and called 9-1-1, because I wanted to help my sister.”

The memories resurface like it was yesterday, and a tear slips down my cheek. I should stop now. There’s no reason to tell him about my past, but my mouth has a mind of its own.

22

SEXUAL COUNSELING

MATT

At five years old, Pepper felt the burden to take care of her older sister. That’s a huge responsibility.

She tangles her fingers in the hem of my shirt she’s wearing.

How is this girl so sweet one minute and bratty the next? She’s the perfect combination of everything I want. I’m obsessed with her.

“What happened?” I ask with sincerity, praying Simon stays asleep a little longer and hoping Pepper will open up more. I bet she’ll feel better if she talks to me.

“My parents found us at the county hospital where they take patients without insurance. When my parents came, there was a Child Protective Services worker who questioned them. My mom and dad answered everything perfectly, making a huge production out of how much theyloved us. They lied and said they had to work late that day, and at eleven years old, my sister was old enough to take care of us. The CPS worker interviewed my sister and I individually, but we were both too scared to do anything but corroborate with our parents. When we got home that night, my dad slapped me.”

“He slapped you?” I interrupt her. I don't mean to, but I can’t help but feel protective of her. An image of little Pepper getting hit by her dad tears a hole in my heart and stokes my anger like a roaring fire.

“He didn’t do it that much. They locked me in my room that night. They didn’t do that very often either.”

She says it like it’s no big deal, but I’m floored. Still, I try to keep my voice gentle so she’ll keep going. “You know that’s not normal, right?”

“Now, yes. Then, I didn’t. My parents always made it clear they didn’t like me, but after that, my dad said he was done. He packed a bag and left the next morning. Haven’t seen him since.”

She looks down, and I squeeze her hand reassuringly.

“I wasn’t trying to cause trouble. In my five-year-old mind, I was just helping my sister. My sister and my mom both blamed me for my dad leaving. My mom said I should’ve never been born. After my dad left, my mom, my sister and I moved into a homeless shelter. Once my mom found a boyfriend, she moved us in with him. She didn’t want to get in trouble with CPS, so she made sure my sister and I went to school. And I liked school. I loved being there much more than being at home. My mom and her boyfriend were gone a lot doing God knows what, but he always had cereal in his cabinets and hot dogs in his fridge.My mom told me I was lucky she brought me into this world, and I could figure out life by myself just like she had when she was younger.”

“Does that mean you didn’t have grandparents?” I ask. She literally has no family to care about her.

“No. Never met them. My sister got a boyfriend at 13 and started hanging out with him non-stop. I was on my own a lot from the time I was seven years old. I stayed in my room and out of my mom and her boyfriend’s way. Once I was old enough, I walked to the library and stayed there until they closed, then walked home. I read every single book they had and did my homework. When I turned 14, I got a job at the local grocery store and worked as many shifts as possible so I wouldn’t be at home. Saved up so I could move out the day I turned 18.”

“Did you?”

“My mom found my money under my mattress and stole it. She said I owed it to her since she let me live with her and her boyfriend.”

Fuck, that’s despicable. Pepper takes a sharp breath, then freaks out.

“Why did I tell you all of that?” She slaps her mouth shut with her hand. “Shit. Am I on an orgasm high? I’m sorry. I was making all of that up.”

She’s letting emotions out that she’s likely stuffed down for years.

“Pepper,” I take her hand, but she pulls away.

“I’m sorry, Matt,” she says while more tears fall from her beautiful face.

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