Page 85 of Outback Reunion

She nodded. She did now. When he was alive, she’d convinced herself it wasn’t abuse, that sometimes she just rubbed him up the wrong way and that all relationships had their ups and downs, because that was the only way she could continue to share a caravan and a daughter with him.

‘Did he ever hit you?’

‘No!’ Gabi laughed bitterly. ‘He was too smart for that. I thought he might have a couple of times, but he always managed to restrain himself, punching a wall or smashing a plate instead. I bruise easily and as you’ve seen, my costumes are skimpy, so if he ever laid a finger on me, it would have been immediately obvious. But if I made him really angry, he punished me in other ways.’

Mark’s frown deepened. ‘What kind of ways?’

‘He’d withhold food from me, say things to Luna to make her think I was stupid, belittle me in front of her. Sometimes he’d even encourage her to do the same. Whenever I made a mistake, he didn’t let it go, continuing to remind me about it until I made another one. Once he locked me in a cage.’

‘He fucking what?!’ Mark slammed his hand over his mouth as his words echoed around the caravan.

They both looked to Luna and froze, but Gabi knew the difference between her daughter’s normal breath and her sleeping, and she was still dead to the world.

‘The Globe of Death,’ she whispered.

‘That’s the big steel thing that the motorbike riders do tricks in, right?’

She shuddered. ‘Yep. One night, I wasn’t in the mood. We had done two shows that day, which is rare, and I was exhausted. He wanted to have sex and I didn’t want to because Luna was in here. We used to steal moments when she was training her dogs or with her grandparents. I hated doing it with her here.’

Mark nodded. ‘Fair enough.’

‘Anyway, he said he was sick of me putting her needs before his, so he dragged me into the Big Top where the Globe of Death was still set up. We had sex in the ring and then when we were done, he shoved me into the globe and locked it. Then he left.’ A lone tear slid down her cheek. ‘As you’ve seen, the cage isn’t small, so I had plenty of room, but it wasn’t a comfortable night’s sleep with the metal bars digging into my back. He came back to let me out just before dawn, acting as if it had just been a fun game.’

Mark reached across the table and wiped the tear with his thumb. ‘He raped you and then he locked you in a cage.’

‘It wasn’t rape; we were married.’

‘Did you want it?’

All she could do was shake her head.

‘Then it was rape, and that bastard is fucking lucky he’s dead because if he wasn’t I’d do more than lock him in a bloody cage.’

At his words, she couldn’t fight her tears. She realised that no one—not Dante, not even Eve or Lorenzo—had ever spoken in a way that made her feel like she really mattered.

‘Aw, Gabriela.’ Mark stood and slipped into the booth next to her. There was barely any room, but it didn’t matter because he wrapped his arms around her and drew her close against his broad chest. ‘You’re safe now. He’s gone and he can’t hurt you again.’

‘I know.’ She sighed as she allowed herself to take the comfort he offered. ‘It wasn’t completely his fault though.’

Mark pulled back and looked down at her. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, I cheated on him. Even though he stood by me, that’s when things really started to go bad. I think he knew that I never loved him the way he loved me. If I’d been a better wife maybe—’

‘Bullshit. He didn’t love you,’ Mark said, taking her face in his hands, forcing her to look into his eyes and hear the truth as he spoke. ‘He was abusing you, Gabriela. It sounds to me like you suffered years of gaslighting, verbal and emotional abuse—even making you question your ability as a mother. You’re an amazing mother. Anyone can see that, and none of his behaviour was your fault. You say he loved you more than you loved him, but no one who loves anyone treats them like Dante treated you. He didn’t deserve you.’

Mark’s words were like a knife to her heart—she knew he was right, but she’d never allowed herself to admit it. She’d wanted to be stronger than that. She’d wanted to be the kind of woman who wouldn’t allow herself to be walked all over and manipulated.

Maybe she would have been if not for Luna, but she’d known the only way he’d ever allow her to leave was without their daughter. No matter what she had to go through, she wasn’t abandoning her child the way her mother had done to her.

‘Tell me you understand,’ Mark said. ‘Tell me you know he didn’t deserve you. Tell me you’re a good mother. Tell me you’re more than enough.’

She nodded, still crying but they were lighter tears now.

‘Say it,’ he urged.

‘I know. He didn’t deserve me. I’m a good mother.’

‘And you’re more than enough.’

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